TV Quotes

Kim: Ooh, he must be gambling. That's what happened to my friend Lorraine. Her father lost their house in a card game, and they had to move to Arkansas.
Dean: I thought they wanted to move to Arkansas?
Kim: Nobody wants to move to Arkansas.

Bill: What's eating at you?
Dean: My friends all think I'm petty.
Lillian: Well, tell your friends...
Bill: You're petty as hell, Dean.
Lillian: Bill.
Bill: He's petty at Christmas, petty with his sister. He was petty as a baby. First time I changed his diaper, he was mad it wasn't you and peed in my face.
Lillian: All babies are like that.
Bill: You didn't see the look in his eye when he did it. Petty.

Bill: I told you how he was swerving all over the road.
Dean: It was like watching a drunk turtle.
Lillian: Well, it was worse than that. He had a fender-bender. Left the car and walked home. They called a tow truck, but he couldn't remember where he left it.
Bill: [sighs] I guess it's time.
Lillian: Yeah. Everybody's time comes sooner or later. I know it's hard, but you're doing the right thing, and you're doing it because you love him.
Dean: It's okay, Dad. He'll be in a better place, like Buster.
Adult Dean: I didn't exactly know what they were talking about, but it sounded like when my dog Buster had to go to a big farm in the sky.
Bill: What? Boy, we're talking about stopping your granddad from driving, not putting him down.
Dean: Oh!

[Dean gasps as he wakes up in the middle of the night with Bruce knocking on his bedroom window]
Bruce: Shh. Shh. [whispers] Unlock the window.
Adult Dean: Well, well. The man who'd been bossing me around missed his curfew and needed my help getting back in our room. Hmm.
Bruce: [whispers] Unlock the window.
Adult Dean: But you know what? He was a good brother. And I knew Mom and Dad would be furious if they caught him.
Dean: [quietly] I'm sleeping.
Bruce: Dean. Dean! Dean! I'm gonna kill you, Dean. Dean!