Bill: You can't fix every baby bird with a broken wing. Even if it is Dean's friend.
Dean: He's not my friend.
Bill: You remember Homeless Joe? How many batches of hot water cornbread you bring him? Still on that stuff.
Lillian: Well, that ain't the cornbread's fault.
Bill: And what about your Cousin Joanne who needed $100 to start that hair salon?
Adult Dean: Mm-hmm. Then she met a man with a Cadillac, and we never saw her again.
Lillian: Well, I will not apologize for being Christ-like.
Bill: Hmm. You weren't so Christ-like when that co-ed from my college needed a place to stay. [laughs]
Lillian: [laughs sarcastically] What that girl needed was a job and a shirt with a neckline. Mm-hmm.

Adult Dean: Ah, the science fair. One of the best days of the year, next to Christmas, my birthday, and Mama's short rib Sundays, of course.
Dean: Carrol, how's it going? Hey, Tom, good luck. You're gonna need it. Just kidding.
Bill: The boy ain't right.
Lillian: Oh, shush. So, you feeling confident?
Dean: A little.
Adult Dean: A little? Please. I was gonna win this thing hands down. I mean, look at the competition. A baking soda volcano? What are we, in 2nd grade? Oobleck? Wow. You mixed corn starch and water. Did you do that yourself? Heh. Why is Neptune bigger than Jupiter? Come on, Larry. Everyone knows it's seven times smaller. If I'm looking at the future of NASA, then the Russians have nothing to worry about.

Keisa: Hey! Pick on someone your own size! You know he can't fight!
Adult Dean: Was there anything more embarrassing than your crush calling you a wimp in front of the entire school?
Lillian: Get off my son! You know he can't fight!
Adult Dean: Yeah. Guess there was.
Dean: Mom, what are you doing? I almost had him.
Lillian: I did not raise you to be out here fighting. What is your name, young man?
Michael: Michael Simms, ma'am.
Adult Dean: Back then, there was an unspoken agreement that Black parents were allowed to parent not just their own kids, but all the kids in the community.
Lillian: Both of you, butts in the car. Now!

Lillian: Tell me about your friend Michael.
Dean: He's not my friend.
Adult Dean: How do you begin to describe someone that is so evil, diabolical, dastardly, antithetical to everything good in the world?
Dean: He's a butthead.

Lillian: Anyway, I'm not gonna be helping Michael. Dean is.
Dean: What? Why me?
Lillian: Because you said so yourself. He doesn't do well in school, and look, we've been blessed with so much, which is why you do so well. I think it'd be a good idea for you to help someone who's less fortunate.
Adult Dean: What my mom was asking was just as ridiculous as asking Spider-Man to team up with Doc Ock. [chuckles] I mean, sure, it happened once, but only because Spidey had amnesia.

Bill: Dinner almost ready?
Lillian: Ooh, I'm so sorry. We were working so hard, we completely lost track of time.
Adult Dean: At last. The one cardinal sin in a Black household is putting someone above the dad in the food chain. There's no way my dad was gonna stand for this.
Bill: I'll just heat up leftovers since you're busy.
Adult Dean: Well, that was unexpected, but at least family dinner meant Michael would finally have to go home.
Lillian: Michael, it's getting late. You should stay for dinner.
Adult Dean: Drat. Curses. Zounds. All that stuff.

Adult Dean: Perhaps there's still time to poison his next course.
Lillian: Michael, can I offer you seconds?
Michael: Yes, please.
[Lillian gives Michael the last piece of chicken as Bill goes to reach for it]
Bill: I'll just take bologna to the office.

Lillian: Uh, you know, Michael, Kim has been looking at colleges. Is that something you might be interested in doing?
Michael: Haven't I seen you hanging around Jacque's house?
Kim: I don't think so.
Michael: Yeah. No, it was definitely you. Man, those parties are so loud. And the kissing. I've never seen that many people locking lips in my life.
Bill: Keys.
Kim: [sighs]

Dean: How could you be so nice to someone who's so mean to me?
Lillian: [sighs] Well, the thing you have to understand is that Michael hasn't had an easy life. You get love from me and your father every day. Michael isn't blessed with that type of love. There are things he misses out on that we take for granted.
Dean: So, he's allowed to beat me up?
Lillian: The reason Michael lashes out is because he's angry.
Dean: What could he possibly be angry about? He gets to keep everyone's lunch money every day.
Lillian: Well, it's complicated. I think the big part of it is the fact that his parents aren't there to support him the way we do for you.
Dean: Then he shouldn't have killed them.
Lillian: [scoffs] He didn't. Dean. Michael shared with me that the reason his mother's not around is because she's not able to take care of him. She had to go into a mental hospital. It happened a few years ago, when he was around your age, and he hasn't seen her since.
Dean: Oh. That is bad. Wait, does that mean if something happens to you and Dad, I have to live with Kim?
Lillian: [sighs] First off, nothing is gonna happen to us, but it's important to put yourself in someone else's shoes. That's why I helped him. I can't imagine how hard his life must be. Does that make sense? [Dean nods] Right. And I hope you remember that I'll always be proud of you. Now, get some rest. Got a big day tomorrow. Good night.
Dean: Good night, Mom.
Adult Dean: Despite the years of bullying, I found myself genuinely feeling sorry for Michael and his mom. Pretty sure he still killed his father, though.

Bill: You know, Lil, in spite of my concerns, I got to admit, you were right this time. Wait, is that my shirt? I knew he was gonna steal something. See, you can't help some people.
Lillian: I gave him the shirt, Bill. He didn't have any good clothes to wear. Besides, you haven't worn that thing in years.
Bill: And like I said, you were very wise.