Lillian Quote #27
Dean: How could you be so nice to someone who's so mean to me?
Lillian: [sighs] Well, the thing you have to understand is that Michael hasn't had an easy life. You get love from me and your father every day. Michael isn't blessed with that type of love. There are things he misses out on that we take for granted.
Dean: So, he's allowed to beat me up?
Lillian: The reason Michael lashes out is because he's angry.
Dean: What could he possibly be angry about? He gets to keep everyone's lunch money every day.
Lillian: Well, it's complicated. I think the big part of it is the fact that his parents aren't there to support him the way we do for you.
Dean: Then he shouldn't have killed them.
Lillian: [scoffs] He didn't. Dean. Michael shared with me that the reason his mother's not around is because she's not able to take care of him. She had to go into a mental hospital. It happened a few years ago, when he was around your age, and he hasn't seen her since.
Dean: Oh. That is bad. Wait, does that mean if something happens to you and Dad, I have to live with Kim?
Lillian: [sighs] First off, nothing is gonna happen to us, but it's important to put yourself in someone else's shoes. That's why I helped him. I can't imagine how hard his life must be. Does that make sense? [Dean nods] Right. And I hope you remember that I'll always be proud of you. Now, get some rest. Got a big day tomorrow. Good night.
Dean: Good night, Mom.
Adult Dean: Despite the years of bullying, I found myself genuinely feeling sorry for Michael and his mom. Pretty sure he still killed his father, though.
Quote from Lillian
Bill: You can't fix every baby bird with a broken wing. Even if it is Dean's friend.
Dean: He's not my friend.
Bill: You remember Homeless Joe? How many batches of hot water cornbread you bring him? Still on that stuff.
Lillian: Well, that ain't the cornbread's fault.
Bill: And what about your Cousin Joanne who needed $100 to start that hair salon?
Adult Dean: Mm-hmm. Then she met a man with a Cadillac, and we never saw her again.
Lillian: Well, I will not apologize for being Christ-like.
Bill: Hmm. You weren't so Christ-like when that co-ed from my college needed a place to stay. [laughs]
Lillian: [laughs sarcastically] What that girl needed was a job and a shirt with a neckline. Mm-hmm.
Quote from Adult Dean
Adult Dean: Ah, the science fair. One of the best days of the year, next to Christmas, my birthday, and Mama's short rib Sundays, of course.
Dean: Carrol, how's it going? Hey, Tom, good luck. You're gonna need it. Just kidding.
Bill: The boy ain't right.
Lillian: Oh, shush. So, you feeling confident?
Dean: A little.
Adult Dean: A little? Please. I was gonna win this thing hands down. I mean, look at the competition. A baking soda volcano? What are we, in 2nd grade? Oobleck? Wow. You mixed corn starch and water. Did you do that yourself? Heh. Why is Neptune bigger than Jupiter? Come on, Larry. Everyone knows it's seven times smaller. If I'm looking at the future of NASA, then the Russians have nothing to worry about.
Quote from The Workplace
Dean: So... what makes cupcakes taste so "down home"?
Lillian: Slavery. And bacon grease in the pan. But mainly slavery.
Quote from Bill's New Gig
Lillian: There's a new ice cream place over in Cloverdale. You think you can take yourself away from that school work long enough to get yourself a double scoop?
Dean: Is this a test? Like when you ask me if I want sugar in my grits?
Lillian: No, I'm not gonna spank you this time. This is for real.