Lillian Quote #130

Quote from Lillian in Science Fair

Bill: You can't fix every baby bird with a broken wing. Even if it is Dean's friend.
Dean: He's not my friend.
Bill: You remember Homeless Joe? How many batches of hot water cornbread you bring him? Still on that stuff.
Lillian: Well, that ain't the cornbread's fault.
Bill: And what about your Cousin Joanne who needed $100 to start that hair salon?
Adult Dean: Mm-hmm. Then she met a man with a Cadillac, and we never saw her again.
Lillian: Well, I will not apologize for being Christ-like.
Bill: Hmm. You weren't so Christ-like when that co-ed from my college needed a place to stay. [laughs]
Lillian: [laughs sarcastically] What that girl needed was a job and a shirt with a neckline. Mm-hmm.


 ‘Science Fair’ Quotes

Quote from Adult Dean

Adult Dean: Ah, the science fair. One of the best days of the year, next to Christmas, my birthday, and Mama's short rib Sundays, of course.
Dean: Carrol, how's it going? Hey, Tom, good luck. You're gonna need it. Just kidding.
Bill: The boy ain't right.
Lillian: Oh, shush. So, you feeling confident?
Dean: A little.
Adult Dean: A little? Please. I was gonna win this thing hands down. I mean, look at the competition. A baking soda volcano? What are we, in 2nd grade? Oobleck? Wow. You mixed corn starch and water. Did you do that yourself? Heh. Why is Neptune bigger than Jupiter? Come on, Larry. Everyone knows it's seven times smaller. If I'm looking at the future of NASA, then the Russians have nothing to worry about.

Quote from Lillian

Keisa: Hey! Pick on someone your own size! You know he can't fight!
Adult Dean: Was there anything more embarrassing than your crush calling you a wimp in front of the entire school?
Lillian: Get off my son! You know he can't fight!
Adult Dean: Yeah. Guess there was.
Dean: Mom, what are you doing? I almost had him.
Lillian: I did not raise you to be out here fighting. What is your name, young man?
Michael: Michael Simms, ma'am.
Adult Dean: Back then, there was an unspoken agreement that Black parents were allowed to parent not just their own kids, but all the kids in the community.
Lillian: Both of you, butts in the car. Now!

 Lillian Williams Quotes

Quote from Bill's New Gig

Lillian: There's a new ice cream place over in Cloverdale. You think you can take yourself away from that school work long enough to get yourself a double scoop?
Dean: Is this a test? Like when you ask me if I want sugar in my grits?
Lillian: No, I'm not gonna spank you this time. This is for real.

Quote from The Workplace

Dean: So... what makes cupcakes taste so "down home"?
Lillian: Slavery. And bacon grease in the pan. But mainly slavery.