Lillian: Michael was just reading about the role electrolytes play in conduction, weren't you?
Michael: Yes, ma'am.
Lillian: Well, all right, then. Go ahead. Keep reading. We don't have all year.
Michael: "An elec-trolyte is a soob-sti-nin-a-nence which e-mits ions when..." [slams table] Dangit!
Lillian: [slaps Michael] You don't use that language in school, do you?
Michael: Yeah. [off Lillian's look] I mean, no. Sorry, ma'am.
Lillian: All right. That's what I thought. Now, keep going.
Michael: I can't.
Lillian: Listen, you use that word "can't" one more time, and not reading will be the last of your worries.
Adult Dean: What was my mother doing? You don't poke the bear. She was racking up a swirly tab that I was gonna have to pay for tomorrow at school.

Michael: Your mom said I have to ride the bus home with you after school.
Adult Dean: He was coming back for more? What type of madman would do homework with my mother if they didn't have to?
Dean: You're not gonna hit me?
Michael: [punches Dean's shoulder] What a weirdo.
Dean: [weird noise]

Adult Dean: While my mom spent the last couple of days working with my archnemesis on a rudimentary potato clock, I was working on splitting oxygen atoms like a real scientist. [laughter] Unfortunately, Michael Simms was clearly intent on disrupting my peaceful lair.
Lillian: [o.s.] That's hilarious, Michael. Dean never told me how funny you were.
Adult Dean: Well, maybe if I got to drink beer and watch Richard Pryor, I'd be funny, too.

Lillian: Project's coming along nicely.
Dean: I guess.
Lillian: Is that a nuclear power plant?
Dean: Maybe.
Lillian: I found your potato water on the counter. You want me to put it in the fridge?
Dean: Whatever.
Adult Dean: Obviously, I was handling the situation with the utmost maturity.
Lillian: You know, I'm so proud of you for doing all this on your own.
Dean: Yeah, and maybe I'll become a great scientist one day, too.

Dean: They announced the winner of the science fair. I didn't even make it into the top three. I know I didn't deserve to win.
Lillian: No, you didn't. God don't like ugly, Dean.
Adult Dean: Yikes. I guess that business-casual belt was also a Lasso of Truth, but I had it coming.
Lillian: How you treat people comes back around. Remember that.
Dean: I'm really sorry.
Lillian: I expect you'll find a way to say that to Michael one day, too.
Dean: Yes, ma'am.

Dean: Finally found a box big enough.
Lillian: Goodwill will be very happy. I'm very proud of you, son.
Bill: I found a few more shirts I'm not gonna use anymore.
Dean: Wh... That's my lucky belt.
Kim: Mnh-mnh. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor.
Adult Dean: But as disappointed as I was in myself, the fact is in all comic book stories, every great failure sets up a sequel where the hero gets a chance to redeem himself. He just needs to take that first step forward.