Andy Quote #579
Quote from Andy in Stairmageddon
Carla: So, what can you do?
Andy: [bad British accent] Well, what can't I do? Right, I can sing, I can dance, I can play the banjo, innit? And if you hadn't noticed, I've got a pretty good British accent.
Carla: Can you drive a car?
Andy: At the risk of sounding arrogant, I did drive myself here.
Carla: Why do you have, uh, a high school musical here on your resume? What are you, like, 40? 45?
Andy: My exact age is 28 to 34, so basically just send me out on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's going out on.
Carla: Gyllenhaal, got it. Can you juggle and crap?
Andy: Yes. And yes. [chuckles]
Carla: Would you dress up as, say, a birthday clown and go to a kid's party, let ‘em throw pies at ya?
Andy: Whereas that is not why I have entered show business, I do understand that you have to build credibility. [sniffs] I'm all for it.
Carla: Well, Mr. Bernard, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Andy: Well, at least I tried. Thank you very much.
Carla: Uh, no. We're- We're gonna take you on as a client.
Andy: You are? Yes! Yes. Are you being for real right now? Oh, man. Ah, yes! I need this so bad. I really think this is what could fix me.
Carla: We are extremely excited to be working with you too, sir. Pay Todd on your way out.
The Office Quotes
‘Stairmageddon’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, maybe I'll never be manager, but I just managed to get our most stubborn salesman to close a sale with one of our biggest clients, and I must say, it's the most pleasant I've ever seen Stanley. I think we should consider injecting him with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis.
Quote from Stanley
Stanley: So I just smiled and complimented her grand kids, and we closed it?
Dwight K. Schrute: You earned yourself a nice, fat commission and you didn't even know it. I'll go tell Andy the good news. Oh. [chuckles] Silly me. Gotta take the stairs.
Stanley: Oh, no, I'm not doing that again. You got me down, you gotta get me back up.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well- No, no, n-
Stanley: [stabs his own leg with a tranquilizer dart and falls to the ground]
Dwight K. Schrute: We need a winch and a hoist.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: For five years I've held my instincts in check because I wanted to be made manager. Maybe it's time for me to just let that thought go. It's kind of painful, but it's also freeing in a way. Now it's all about my instincts.