Jim Quote #292
Quote from Jim in Stress Relief
Jim: Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.
Michael Scott: I know where this is going.
Jim: Do you?
Michael Scott: No...
Jim: Okay. Remember spider face?
Michael Scott: No.
Jim: Okay. 'Cause the quote was, cut off your nose to spiderface.
Michael Scott: Spite her- Okay. [laughter]
Features in the collection: Michael Scott: The Misquotes.
The Office Quotes
‘Michael Scott: The Misquotes’
Quote from Michael Scott in Phyllis' Wedding
Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.
Quote from Michael Scott in The Negotiation
Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
‘Stress Relief’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, come on. It's not real, Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!
Quote from Michael Scott
CPR Trainer: All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him. Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute .
Michael Scott: Okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that gonna help you?
Michael Scott: Well, I will divide and then count to it.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say, "Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side." And he's like, "No, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them."