Michael Scott: Well, due to the economy, there's a lot of worry going around, I didn't want to worry people.
Charles: You didn't tell them?
Michael Scott: Why don't-
Charles: What I told Michael-
Michael Scott: Charles is gonna tell you-
Charles: is that we are cutting, which means we will no longer be matching 401k contributions. And all overtime requests will need to come through the corporate office.
Stanley: Fantastic.
Michael Scott: Well, it's not official.
Charles: It is official. It is official. And actually, guys, I'm encouraging branches to consider a freeze on discretionary spending.
Michael Scott: Such as salary benefits, et cetera. Et cetera, insurance.
Charles: No, no. Not salaries. Petty cash, supplies and, you know, parties. Things like that.
Dwight K. Schrute: [whispering] What about your party?
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I think this has been great. I think this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it? Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen. He has a long trip home. Thank him for coming, we have to get back to work.

Charles: Hey everyone, lunch is on me today.
Angela: That is so unnecessary.
Michael Scott: Are you kidding me with this? On the day that I bring in breakfast?
Charles: It's no big deal.
Michael Scott: I wish you had told us sooner. Because I was going to go to the vending machine and get an egg salad.
Charles: You still have that option.

Michael Scott: You say, "no more parties," and then you spend money on lunch. I think it's a little "hypercritical".
Charles: I do this for every branch I go to. If you do not like it, then I think there are some bagels left over from this morning.

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Damn it, Stephanie, put me through to him. Is that him in the background? David? David? Pick up the phone.

Kelly: Should I seduce him?
Angela: No, no one wants to see that.

Pam: And then out of that cake pops another stripper holding a smaller cake and then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.
Michael Scott: What is that smaller stripper holding?
Pam: A cupcake. It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.

Charles: Excuse me, guys. What's going on in here?
Michael Scott: Party planning committee. Not your concern, Charles.
Charles: This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time.
Michael Scott: Really? Well, then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.
Jim: No, I would like to get back to work, actually.
Charles: What you got, Jim? [reading] What is a two-way petting zoo?
Jim: You pet the animals, they pet you back.
Michael Scott: It's a great idea. And we have a cake in the shape of a bale of hay.
Pam: It's just a regular-shaped cake.
Michael Scott: But it's cool...

Charles: Okay, Michael, I'm dissolving this committee.
Michael Scott: What?
Charles: I mean, come on, this is a work place. It isn't designed for your vanity.
Michael Scott: News flash: I've been here for 15 years. Headline: you have been here one day. End of story. You have no right to cancel my 15th anniversary party. End of story.
Charles: I don't care if I've-
Michael Scott: End of story!
Charles: -hurt your feelings or you do not agree with my methods, but it is over.
Michael Scott: Okay, no, no, no. You know what? I'm going to New York! And I am going to talk to David Wallace, I'm going to tell him everything. And I'm sorry to say you're screwed. And you know what? You are gonna be through. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you.
Charles: Right.
Michael Scott: Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel, you don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.

Kelly: I can see our kids facing obstacles, behind half black and half Indian but it's so worth it, you guys.
Phyllis: There's just me here.
Kelly: I am going to get him to buy me a prime rib tonight.
Phyllis: I think he left.
Kelly: What? Move! [running outside] Hello, Charles? [seeing Angela] Is that his scarf?

Angela: Charles and Kelly? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster diving for companionship.