Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I am flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.

Michael Scott: I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring.
Charles: They don't make them anymore.
Michael Scott: And I want Charles gone.
David: I am not firing Charles. He's very valuable.
Charles: That's very kind of you to say.
Michael Scott: I need him gone.
David: No.
Michael Scott: Then I want Pam back.
David: You already have a new receptionist.
Michael Scott: Sales.
Pam: Thank you.
David: Pam's not a salesperson.
Michael Scott: Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in its heyday.

Pam: When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid. I trust you".