Jim: What's up, buddy?
Dwight K. Schrute: This is not funny. Why is my stuff in here?
Jim: That's weird. Ooh, a dollar for a stapler, though, that's pretty good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, well, I'm not paying for my own stuff, okay? I know you did this, 'cause you're friends with the vending machine guy.
Jim: Who, Steve?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, Steve. Whatever his name is.
Pam: What do I want? What do I want? Ooh, it's a pencil cup.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no, no, no. That's my pencil cup.
Pam: I don't think so, I just bought it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I think so, and you're gonna hand it over to me.
Pam: I love these.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, fine. Where's my wallet?
Jim: Oh, there it is. J1.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't have-
Jim: Here, you know what? I've got some nickels.
Dwight K. Schrute: $0.05, $0.10, $0.15, $0.20, $0.25.

Michael Scott: I am a great motivational speaker. I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year and... It wasn't the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course. But it talked about the actual course. And I've incorporated a lot of his ideas into my own course.

Michael Scott: Leader ship. The word "ship" is hidden inside the word "leadership" as its derivation. So if this office is in fact a ship, as its leader, I am the captain. But we're all in the same boat. Teamwork!

Michael Scott: Hey, look! I'm king of the world! Whoo!

Dwight K. Schrute: I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four and I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.

Michael Scott: Okay! Dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body! And communicate!
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss dancing.

Michael Scott: Okay, all right. It's time to be boss. Time to motivate. Let's blow some minds here. Okay, guys, guys, guys. Cool it. Everybody? Dunder Mifflin Scranton employees, Brenda, I've some very, very urgent news I need to tell everybody. Right now. Listen up. The ship is sinking. Okay? We're going down right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that. Please! Everybody, it's my turn now, okay? Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake, and there aren't enough spaces on the lifeboat.
Who are we gonna save? Do we save sales? Do we save customer service? Do we save accounting? This is a business scenario. Right? It's a scary- It's a predicament. And it's something that each and every one of us have to think about.

Michael Scott: I'm in the brig. See? The boat's not as corporate-friendly as advertised. What is the deal with the guy jumping overboard? What was- If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now, and not all wet.

Jim: What a night.
Michael Scott: Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim: She was always engaged.
Michael Scott: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim: That's great. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael Scott: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow! I would have never put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that.

Michael Scott: You know I made out with Jan.
Jim: Yeah, I know.
Michael Scott: Yeah, yeah. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim: Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm, and she's just- Anyway.
Michael Scott: Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim: She's engaged.
Michael Scott: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael Scott: Never, ever, ever give up.