Axl: If someone throws you a knife, you catch it by the handle.
Mike: What did I say about stabbing your brother?
Axl: I was trying to help him. He needed it to cut onions, but now he's telling me he can't remember the recipe for our awesome barbecue sauce.
Brick: I'm sorry. I was in the creative zone the first time. I just went with the flow.
Axl: All right, you know what? I'm a marketing guy. I can work with this. Uh... [snaps fingers] So homemade, it tastes different every time. Brick, write that down.

Sue: I can't believe this! You were so nice to me, and you offered to take me to prom, and you rented a tux, and now... [laughs] I'm sorry.
Logan: I'm having a great time. Still way better than cleaning up an angry nun. [chuckles]
Sue: Okay, maybe we're just not destined to have any luck with proms. We're 0 for 2.
Logan: Not necessarily. Got a fountain. Dance floor. [Sue laughs] Would you like to dance?
Sue: Oh, no. Ugh. I'm all... and you're all... You don't have to do all that just for me.
Logan: Sue, [chuckles] don't you get it? Why do you think I come into Spudsy's every day? Do you know how hard I have to work to keep this after I eat all those potatoes? [chuckles nervously] I-I eat them so I can talk to you. I like you, Sue.
Sue: Really? [they dance] Who needs prom?
Logan: Exactly.
Sue: Although I would have liked to have gotten a photo.
Logan: Not a problem. Say cheese. [both laugh]

Frankie: You know what their problem is? They're making these movies too long.
Mike: I'm telling you, we should just watch TV. Half-hour comedies, that's the way to go.
Frankie: No, the real problem is we're trying to have date night in our house.
Mike: You're right. We should know better. No fun can be had here.
Frankie: Yeah, we need to get out, have a real date night.
[cut to Frankie and Mike asleep in a movie theater]

Sue: [crying]
Frankie: Hey, hey, hey, honey, what's wrong?
Sue: [crying continues] It's the dress I ordered when I was gonna go to prom with Darrin. I am so jealous of my three-months-ago self!
Frankie: Oh, Sue.
Sue: It's been so hard. I still really miss him, you know?
Frankie: Oh, honey, I know. A-and your dad and I have been so impressed how you've been holding it together. But we knew it was bound to bubble up some time.
Sue: Mm. Ugh, I thought I could bury my feelings in work and school and Taylor Swift collages, but I think some feelings are leaking out. [sighs] I am just so sad.
Frankie: Oh. [Mike turns the movie back on] Mike!
Mike: What? [Mike turns the movie off] She's sad she can't go to prom. I thought we covered it.

Sue: Thank you for choosing Spudsy's for all your potato needs. Hey, Logan. Welcome to Spudsy's. You know what they say. April potatoes bring May potatoes. I'm sorry. I know it's lame, but I'll get written up if I don't say it. [Logan laughs] You want the usual?
Logan: Uh, yeah, thanks. So, how are things at Abercrombie?
Logan: [inhales sharply] Cold. I keep telling the store they got to heat it up in there, but they're not really interested in what the greeters have to say, so...
Sue: [laughs] Yeah.
Logan: How are you doing?
Sue: Well, I'm feeling a little down, but don't worry. It won't affect your potato. Oh. [chuckles] There you are.
[register beeps, opens] Oh. Thank you for choosing Spudsy's.
Logan: Thank you.

Edwin: Sue, a moment.
Sue: Sure.
Edwin: Listen, I'm gonna need you to work this Saturday 'cause it's prom. I worked last year when you blew me off at the last minute, but I can't this year. I'm taking the hottest girl in school. Well, maybe not the whole school, but in Madrigals, definitely.
Sue: [to herself] Great.

Frankie: Okay. Date night number two.
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Frankie: Let's try this again. So, do you remember what happened before we fell asleep?
Mike: I remember the guy said, "Come with me. This is dangerous." And the girl says, "I can't leave my home." And he says, "You must."
Frankie: What? What are you talking about? That wasn't even in the movie.
Mike: How do you know? You were asleep.
Frankie: [sighs] All right. Well, I guess we're gonna have to start at the beginning.

Brick: Here. Taste this.
Frankie: Oh, Brick, I am not going to eat something when I don't even know what it is.
Brick: You make us do it all the time.
Frankie: [eats] Mm. That is good. Where'd you get the barbecue sauce?
Axl: That's what it is!
Brick: "Heck Brothers Old-timey Barbecue Sauce."
Axl: Yeah! Unh! [laughs]

Sue: So, did our potato put a smile on your face? Sorry, we have to say that, too.

Logan: Ugh. Prom.
Sue: Did you have a bad time at yours?
Logan: That would be an understatement. St. Timothy's prom was last month. My date got drunk and threw up on a nun.
Sue: Eeh.
Logan: [laughs] They say everything goes with black. Not true. [both laugh]
Sue: Yeah, mine's on Saturday. I was supposed to go with my boyfriend, but then he asked me to marry him, and we ended up breaking up.