Sue: Okay, the three of us have been talking, and we're really not feeling very good about the way things have been going around here lately.
Brick: It seems like there's been a lot of strife and stress and unnecessary discord.
Axl: And that's why we wanted to sit you down and have a word with you, 'cause seriously... You guys are out of control.
Frankie: Wait.
Mike: What? "Sit us down"? You're sitting us down? Nobody sits me down.
Frankie: Okay, wait, wait. What's happening here?
Sue: I told you they'd freak out.
Brick: This doesn't need to be confrontational. Please, please... Sit back down.
Mike: Fine. I will sit down. Because my knee is bothering me, not 'cause they asked me to.

Sue: Mom, it just seems like you're nagging us all the time lately.
Frankie: Oh. I see. That's how it seems?
Axl: Yeah, it's like you tell us what to do before we even have a chance to do it ourselves.
Frankie: Oh, really? Is that what it's like?
Sue: [sighs] She's shutting down, Axl. I told you she'd shut down.
Frankie: I'm not shutting down. I am listening openly to your terrific tips for parenting you're sending my way. You really think I like nagging you?
Axl: I think you do.
Brick: I think it gives you a weird rush.
Axl: It's true. You live to nag. You're a nag-oholic.
Frankie: Well, you're a don't-do what-you're-supposed-to-oholic. I think if you did a survey of other moms, you would find that in the world of nag, I'm not that bad.
[Axl lifts up his shirt to show the word "Homework" written across his stomach. Brick lifts his sleeve to reveal "Coffeepot" on his arm and Sue lifts her sleeve to reveal "Shower" written on her arm.]

Frankie: What the hell just happened out there?
Mike: I don't know. I'd like to get a beer, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed out of my room.
Frankie: They've got a lot of nerve, talking to me like that. You know, it wouldn't have killed you to jump in and defend me.
Mike: They had notes. I was confused.
Frankie: Did our kids just sit us down? I can't believe they sat us down.
Mike: They did not sit me down. I sat down 'cause of my knee.
Frankie: I mean, come on. I'm a nag, and you punish them too much? What is that?
Mike: I don't recall asking for their opinion. This is my house. There's only one opinion that matters... Mine. And yours.

Frankie: [v.o.] With us relieved of our parental duties, Mike and I were free to really enjoy each other's company.
Frankie: Now is that guy in the army, or is he a detective?
Mike: Both.
Frankie: Oh. You know he's married to Mindy from Mork & Mindy?
Mike: Mm.
Frankie: I saw him in a movie on cable the other day. He played a cop or a chef, and it was with that guy. You know? You like him. He's got three names. "Something something something." Michael Jessie Carson or Corey Jessie Michaels? Or maybe not. Anyway, you like him.
Mike: Hey. Since the kids are out of our hair at the moment, you know what could be fun?
Frankie: Ugh. Okay, but I gotta warn you, I didn't shave my legs.
Mike: Yeah, I know. I'm talking about bowling.

Sue: I might have left it at Joe's Subs. Can you drive me there?
Axl: No can do. I gotta finish reading my book. It's, like, 200 pages.
Sue: Well, how many pages do you have left?
Axl: 200.
Sue: Axl, you have to take me to find it.
Axl: I con't.
Sue: What does that mean?
Axl: I can, but won't.

Sue: If Mom sees I don't have my coat, this whole thing is gonna crack wide open.
Axl: Well, if I don't finish this book, this whole thing's gonna crack wide open. So what do we do?
[cut to Axl driving with Sue in the passenger seat and Brick in the backseat:]
Brick: [reads] "Of Mice And Men, by John Steinbeck. A few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas river drops in close to the hillside--"
Axl: You can't read every word. Just give me the highlights. And keep an ear out for when the mice come in. I think they're gonna be important.

Axl: Oh, my gosh. I didn't believe in myself, but after reading your poster, I totally do. Thanks, Sue.

Brick: Now Curley's organizing a mob, and they're going after him.
Axl: She's the weirdest girl in school and probably a witch, and now I'm going to prom with her, two years in a row. I might as well just marry her and get it over with, 'cause it's not like I've got a choice in the matter.
Brick: He and George are hiding by a pond. Lennie's flipping out, but George is telling him about the rabbits. He says they're going to live on a farm and raise the rabbits. Lennie's hugging him.
Sue: Aw.
Brick: Curley and the boys are getting closer. George is pulling out a gun.
Axl: Whoa, he's gonna fight off the bad guys?
Brick: He just shot Lennie in the back of the head!
Sue: What?!
Brick: No way. This shouldn't be called, Of Mice And Men. It should be called, Of Men Killing Other Men!

Ashley: Hi, Axl. Do you want to use my bathroom, since I used yours?
Axl: No, thanks.
Ashley: How are your sports doing?
Axl: They're fine.
Ashley: Isn't this the season where you play with the round ball?
Axl: It's called basketball.
Ashley: Right, 'cause sometimes I see you playing with an oblong ball. Other times, you're playing with a small ball and a stick.
Axl: [clicks tongue] Yep.
Ashley: You were playing with a small ball when we went to prom last year.

Axl: Oh, and, Dad, your problem is you're always giving out these crazy punishments without even hearing our side of things. Sue's not allowed to have a friend over till she's 35.
Mike: I never said that.
Sue: Brick. Can you please read the minutes from our last meeting?
Brick: [clears throat] Last Thursday, Sue and Carly took the batteries out of your remote and put them in their karaoke machine, and you said, quote, "No more friends over for 20 years," end quote.
Mike: You have meetings?