Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...

Male Voice: [on film] [action music plays] Coming, Summer 2016. Based on the best-selling series that swept the nation... [music stops]
Man: [on film] Silligans.
Male Voice: [on film] David S. Rosenthal's... Planet Nowhere.
Brick: They're doing a movie about Planet Nowhere!
Male Voice: [on film] Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon. Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran. And introducing Montana Steinberg as Princess Kalakare. [lasers blasting]
Kalakare: [on film] The Vernegos will prevail.
Brick: Princess Kalakare's 132 years old! That kid's not a day over 11! They can't do this! You can't do this!
Mike: Brick, it's not like the couch. You got to sit down.
Brick: Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

Axl: Hey, you're closer to being a grown-up than I am. At least you got your own place.
Hutch: Would a grown-up still sleep with a night light? I tell people it's a fancy smoke detector.
Axl: I don't even pay my taxes yet.
Hutch: Well, you should.
Axl: Last week, a cartoon made me cry.
Hutch: I still drink juice boxes.
Axl: I still use Batman toothpaste. [sighs]
Hutch: Yeah, we're not grown-up yet.
Axl: Yeah.
Hutch: Ooh, Chuck E. Cheese.

Frankie: So, what do you think?
Mike: Think you're a few years off.
Frankie: Well, I think it's cute, and I think you're jealous because Sue invited me up to celebrate her 21st birthday and you had to trick Axl into celebrating his with you.
Mike: I didn't trick him. And don't get too big a head there. Didn't she choose you just 'cause her real friends are out of town?
Frankie: I'm fun, Mike. I'm the fun parent, and Sue knows it, and we are gonna party like it's 1999.
Mike: You were 33 with two kids in '99.

Frankie: Oh, hey, do you know where the blue bag is? Aha! Whoo! Got it.
Mike: That's the blue bag? I thought the blue bag was yellow.
Frankie: The blue bag was yellow, and now the blue bag is orange. Try to keep up.
Brick: Oh, good, the blue bag.
Frankie: Unh-unh. Blue bag is coming with me.