Brick: Everybody stop yelling. [whispers] Yelling. [normal voice] Oh, no. [whispers] Oh, no. [normal voice] Oh, no. [whispers] Oh, no. [normal voice] I can't stop. [whispers] I can't stop.

Frankie: Oh, my God. Mike. The Christmas village? I love setting up the Christmas village. All right, this is chaos. This guy with the newspaper is supposed to go in front of the bakery. You've got him lurking around the school like he's some kind of pedophile. Look, you've got the carolers on the train tracks, like that's gonna end well.
Mike: Did you want my help or not?
Frankie: Well, yes, but I can't leave the house for a second to go to work or practice without you churning out some other Christmas tradition. I just wanted you to do the crummy stuff. You know, go to the grocery, stand in line at the post office for the Christmas stamps. I don't want you hogging up all the fun stuff.
Mike: How am I supposed to know what you think is fun?
Frankie: Well, you know how there's songs about decorating a tree or building a snowman? That's how you know. If it's in a song, don't do it.
Mike: So, no chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Frankie: No.
Mike: No dashing through the snow.
Frankie: No, that's all out.

Frankie: Honey, what's wrong?
Sue: I went to Brad's early to give him his Christmas present. And I found him out back behind the shed with another boy.
Mike: Uh... Hey, Brick, why don't you go to your room? Go. Go.
Sue: And they were out in the bushes, and they were taking turns...
Frankie: Honey, I am so sorry. We should've said something.
Sue: And they were... And they were... Smoking.
Frankie & Mike: Oh.
Sue: Wait, you knew? You knew he was a smoker?
Mike: We had our suspicions.
Frankie: I'll bet that's why he didn't kiss you. He didn't want you to notice his smoker's breath.
Sue: Oh, yeah. Well, there's no way I'm gonna date him now. And I really, really liked him too.
Frankie: Oh, come here, baby.
Sue: Maybe I can get him to quit?
Frankie: I wouldn't count on it, honey.