Axl Quote #1081
Quote from Axl in Exes and Ohhhs
Hutch: Man, you must've had some wild night last night. Tiny question... What's with the bag of hair?
Axl: Ugh. Weird Ashley. [groans] [sighs] Yeah. Weird Ashley was there, Cassidy was there, Devin was there...
Hutch: Okay, Dorothy. How much green beer did you drink?
Axl: No, seriously, man, they were all there. It was freaky. I had to get out of there, so I told them all I was getting us beers, beat my way out of the crowd with this giant shamrock and never looked back. I mean, what are the odds all my ex-girlfriends would show up at the same party?
Hutch: Wow! Don't you get it? It's a sign. The universe is clearly trying to tell you something.
Axl: What?
Hutch: I don't know. Could be about love, could be you're supposed to pick one of 'em. But you'll never know, my friend, because you bolted before the universe could give you the answer.
Axl: So, what do I do now?
Hutch: Only one thing to do. Toss this nasty hair bag and seek the guidance of a higher power.
Axl: So, we're watching Matthew McConaughey in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?
Hutch: Unless you got a better idea.
The Middle Quotes
‘Exes and Ohhhs’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Brick: Check out this story from the Orson Herald from 1954. "Local woman finds hat in tree."
Mike: Local man on couch wants peace and quiet.
Brick: I'm telling you, Dad, this is a bottomless fountain of information. Ooh, here's one from August 1932. "Have you seen this dog?" I wonder if they found it.
Mike: That dog is dead. Everyone who cared about that dog is dead. The new dog they bought to get over the pain of losing that dog is dead.
Brick: You're a mean, mean man.
Mike: Eh.
Quote from Sean Donahue
Sean: I seem to recall somebody wanting to go to the Chancellor's Ball.
Sue: Wait, who told you? How did you know about that?
Sean: You did. Back when I was over here helping you with your desk, you were saying you weren't sure if you were gonna go 'cause you didn't have a date. And I was walking on my campus yesterday and it was really warm and pretty out and I remembered this word you made up when we were young to describe days like that where it suddenly is warm again.
Sue: Springalicious?
Sean: Springalicious. [chuckles] And it made me think of you and I was like, "Why am I thinking of Sue right now?" And then I remembered this was your weekend. So, Suzy Q, on this beautiful springalicious occasion, may I have the honor of escorting you to the Chancellor's Ball?
Sue: Oh, Sean. Don't you have a cellphone? You could call ahead first? I actually have a date.
Sean: Oh. [chuckles] Yeah, I didn't -- I didn't call because I thought the surprise would be nice. That was dumb. I just figured third time was the charm, you know. You're gonna owe me for tux rentals if I keep this up. But, hey, the important thing is that you're happy. I just wanted to make sure you had the chance to go.
Sue: Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Do you have to go already? Why don't you stay a while. We could get a pizza or hang out or something. I promise I won't make you put together any more furniture.
Sean: I- No, no. I- It's okay. I should get back to Orson, spend some time with my folks before going up to school, and, uh, yeah. Have fun at the ball, Suzy Q. You deserve it.
Quote from Ashley
Lexie: I'm sorry. I feel like I'm interrupting something.
Cassidy: No, we were just catching up.
Axl: Well, this could not get any weirder.
Ashley: Hi, Axl. A white wolf came to me in a dream and told me if I sacrificed my hair, you'd come back to me. [hands Axl a plastic baggy of human hair] You should probably make that into tea and drink it.
Axl: Oh.