Frankie: Sue, remember the deal. We already gave you the Justin Bieber tickets, so you're just getting a cheap, old-fashioned non-surprise birthday party.
Sue: Oh. Okay. I get it. Sure, I am.
Frankie: You are, on your birthday, I'm telling you.
Sue: Uh-huh. Right. Gotcha. [closes both eyes]
Frankie: What are you doing?
Sue: I'm winking.
Frankie: That's both eyes.
Sue: Really? Huh. Okay, well, I'm gonna be in my room. If you want to make any... secret plans.
Frankie: Sue, we're not having a surprise party.
Sue: I'm totally believing you.

Frankie: So, how was social group?
Brick: Interesting. We got a girl.
Frankie: A girl? Really? What's her issue?
Brick: I don't know. She makes eye contact, she never has her hands in her pants, and everything she eats is food.
Frankie: Wow. The big three. Sounds like a clerical error.
Brick: That's what I'm thinking.

Frankie: Hey. Where you been?
Mike: I told you, I had some stuff to do at work. Go back to sleep.
Frankie: What? What are you talking about? Since when do you have to work till 3:00 in the morning?
Mike: It's nothing. Shh.
Frankie: No. No, this is seriously getting weird, Mike. What's happening? Are you having an affair? And if you are, could you please come in more quietly from now on?

Frankie: So listen, Sue, I need you to tell me what friends you want to have over and what kind of cake you want. And not to influence you, but I do have a box of yellow in the cabinet. It's just add water, so...
Sue: Roger that. No surprise party. That's why Axl is vacuuming.
Frankie: Sue, seriously, we're not having a surprise party.
Sue: Right. Gotcha. We're just gonna have a regular dinner on my birthday, a day that only comes once every four years.
Frankie: Look, Sue, I can't stress this enough, we're not having a surprise party.
Sue: Is exactly what someone would say, who's planning a surprise party.
Brick: Oy.

Axl: What are you? An animal? I just vacuumed in here.
Frankie: Oh, I'm sorry. Am I making a mess? Mm. Check me out. I can eat off my chest. Mmm. Oh, bam! Nailed it!
Axl: God.

Brick: Mom? I talked with the other guys, and we've decided to raise the money ourselves to save social group.
Frankie: Really?
Brick: Here's our thoughts.
Frankie: Oh. Wow. That's a lot of interesting ideas. "Rocket ship rides". "Finding treasure with a metal detector". Oh. "Designing a fleet of helper robots that'll never turn against mankind."
Brick: That was mine.
Frankie: Hmm. How about something a little simpler, like a car wash or bake sale?
Brick: Great idea, Mom. Run with that. I trust you.
Frankie: No, Brick, I'm not...
Brick: It's fine. Don't worry. I'm not gonna micromanage you.

Sue: Oh, Mom, they only gave us one egg roll.
Axl: I call it!
Sue: Axl, it's my leap year birthday week! Mom, Axl's licking my leap year birthday week egg roll!
Frankie: Axl, give your sister her birthday week egg roll.

Frankie: You're home from work late. Were you were Limestone?
Axl: Who's Limestone?
Mike: Nobody.
Frankie: He's a cat.
Sue: We have a cat?
Brick: How long have we had a cat?
Frankie: It's not our cat. It's your dad's cat.
Sue: Dad has a cat? Where?
Frankie: At work. It's your dad's work cat that he never told us about.

Frankie: Hi. [hugs Mike]
Mike: Frankie, I'm fine.
Frankie: I know, but just so you know, I'm here.
Mike: Yes, I see you here.
Frankie: And if you need to talk...
Mike: Mm. There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine.
Frankie: Okay, 'cause you seem a little tense.
Mike: I'm tense 'cause I'm trying to spit, and you're in my way. You mind?
Frankie: Okay. Because if you're sad, it's okay to be sad.
Mike: I know that. I'd be sad if I was sad, but I'm not sad.
Frankie: Oh.

Frankie: Nice, Brick. I gave up my whole day. And organized that stupid fund-raiser 'cause I thought you wanted to save social group. I thought you cared!
Brick: Nope, I just like Hayley. Hey, a cute girl who's a little strange just plops into my lap? That doesn't happen every day. The pretty ones usually have it all together.
Frankie: [sighs] Great. I'm wet, my feet are freezing, I got cake down my shirt... I'm taking a shower and going to bed.
Brick: It's only 7:00.
Frankie: I don't care!