Theo: Sometimes, I pretend to have a rock store at home in my basement. We could sell them.
Henry: [loudly] My dad pays me to leave the room when I'm annoying him!
Brick: I'm guessing that's a really steady stream of income.
Zack: We could tell all our grandmothers that our birthday's coming up. That would be 7 $5 checks right there.
Theo: I've changed my mind about my rocks. I don't want to sell them.
Corey: Maybe we can... [overlapping chatter]
Brick: Okay, okay, okay. We're off to a really good start here. All in favor of taking a break and going to see what hayley's doing... [everyone but Corey raises their hands] Corey, we have a problem?
Corey: No, my hands are in my pants.
Brick: Then we're good.

Frankie: [v.o.] So the next few days, Mike continued to not be sad.
Frankie: Hey, where's your dad?
Brick: I told him the game was on, but he didn't want to watch. Then he took two beers and went into the garage.
Frankie: You're watching the game?
Brick: I'm counting the dribbles.
Axl: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I just vacuumed! Phone books!

Sue: Okay, Axl, now I'm not saying you have to tell me anything, but... If a bunch of people happened to be coming over today, how would I want to dress? Would it be more casual or dressy? Is there a theme? Is it Hollywood?
Axl: Well... I can't tell you much, but you're gonna want to go wait in the basement.
Sue: Wait. Right now?
Axl: Damn it, Sue! I wasn't supposed to say anything. Now go in there so I don't get in trouble.
Sue: What am I supposed to do?
Axl: It's not ready yet. Just wait.
Sue: [o.s.] Okay. This is so exciting!

Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out the other mothers weren't that psyched to help a bunch of socially disorganized kids hold a car wash. But they were only too happy to dump 'em all on me for four hours.
Frankie: [to a man whose car is dirty with soap suds] Uh, sorry about that. They're still getting the hang of this. Here's your $5 back. And take a Bundt cake.
Man: [over PA] Frankie, your daughter's in the basement. She wants to know if she can come out.

Scott: Roses are red. Everything else should be. I only eat red food. Do you want a tomato slice from my lunch?
Hayley: No.
[As Zack purrs and rubs his head against Hayley, she pushes him away onto the car]
Corey: Hey, they sewed your socks to your underwear. That's smart. That way, you'll never lose them.
Hayley: I guess.
Brick: I can reach anything on the bottom rung of the vending machine. Would you like some certs or a comb?
Hayley: I wouldn't mind a comb.
Brick: Hmm. Stick with me. I'm sort of a big fish in a weird pond.

Henry: [loudly] Where are you going?!
Brick: Just keep walking. Pretend you can't hear him.
Henry: He's taking her away! [overlapping chatter]
Brick: She's coming with me! [whispers] Me.

Frankie: Hey, hey, hey! Stop that! Social skills! Remember your social skills! [turns the hose on the kids]

Frankie: Mike. Mike. Wake up. We forgot Sue's birthday.
Mike: [wakes up] Huh? What are you talking about?
Frankie: The leap year day. I think it's today. Like, yesterday today. We missed it.
Mike: How could you forget her birthday?
Frankie: It's a leap year. We don't usually have this day, and... You forgot, too, you know.

Frankie: Sue. Sue, wake up. Hey. Happy Birthday.
Sue: Oh, my God. Oh, what a surprise. Oh, you got me so good.
Mike: Yeah, we got you good.
Sue: Oh, and I cried myself to sleep for nothing.
Frankie: Yeah.
Sue: Wait, where's Axl and Brick?
Frankie: Oh. They're the second wave of the surprise.
Sue: Ooh. Oh, should I open my presents now?
Frankie: Um, you bet.

Mike: Hey, Sue, it's Carly on the phone.
Sue: [screams] Carly!
Carly: [sleepily on the phone] Hello?
Sue: How long have you known about this? You haven't said a word all week.
Carly: What? [hangs up]