Frankie: Oh, Ms. Rinsky, thank God you're still here. Oh, darn. I forgot your teacher's gift at home on the thing. I'll send it over the summer. Anyway, here's Brick's journal. He didn't bring it in because we're rushing to his sister's graduation, so it's been a great year. Thanks for everything.
Ms. Rinsky: Not so fast, Mommy. Let me just have a look-see and make sure that everything's all here. Have a seat.

Frankie: Please! Please, let us move up. We didn't go to France, but we're good people. We're so close to the end. I have a tiki torch!
Ms. Rinsky: Calm down, Mommy. Brick's going to the fourth grade.
Frankie: He is?
Ms. Rinsky: I like Brick. He makes me laugh. I wouldn't mind having him for another year. But you? Not for a million bucks.
Frankie: Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much. [hugs Ms. Rinsky]
Ms. Rinsky: Oh, one more thing. Brick is your youngest, right?
Frankie: Oh, yeah. You are in the clear. [Ms. Rinsky does a little dance]

Mike: [answers phone] Hello?
Frankie: Mike? We finished with Rinsky. Brick is going to the fourth grade. Where are you guys?
Mike: Uh, Elm street. I'm almost done with the deliveries. Then we got to go home and shower.
Frankie: No shower. You smell fine. I'm on my way to you now. And I'll call Nancy Donahue to tell her to save us some seats. Crap. Can't find my phone. Damn it! I must have left it in Rinsky's room. Now I got to go back, and she hates me, but I don't want it locked up for the summer, but now we're definitely gonna be late!
Mike: Frankie, look in your hand.
Frankie: Okay, I found it.

Frankie: [v.o.] Throughout humankind, man has celebrated the culmination of a long, harrowing journey by planting a flag, to say you climbed that mountain, achieved the unachievable, made it through another school year.
Frankie: It's summer!
Mike: And you bought a tiki torch.
Frankie: Yep. This is gonna transform our backyard into an island paradise.
Mike: Well, if we're going for paradise, we're probably gonna want to fish that dead possum out of the pool.
Frankie: [sighs] We made it, Mike. Only four days till the end of school. After all those forms and field trips and homework and Ms. Rinsky... [sighs] We deserve this tiki torch. It is time to get our summer on!

Sue: Mom!
Frankie: Oh, come on!
Sue: The school thinks I was absent October 13th. They said I didn't earn the perfect attendance award. We have to find documentation. We have to prove I was there!
[Frankie sticks in the tiki torch in the ground as she gets ready to go back inside]
Mike: Here you go. [the torch falls] Oh...
Frankie: Eh, don't bother. We're a long way from summer.

Sue: What are you doing up?
Brick: What are you doing up?
Sue: I can't sleep.
Brick: Not allowed to sleep. Hey, isn't that Mom's frosting?
Sue: I need it a lot more than she does right now. [squirts frosting into mouth]

Ms. Jacobs: Oh, hon, this just says that you went to the orthodontist. That doesn't mean that you came to school after.
Sue: But I did. As a matter of fact, after I get my braces tightened, my teeth always hurt, so I remember going to the nurse to get an ibuprofen.
Ms. Jacobs: Well, I guess if you could get the nurse to vouch for the-
[Sue runs out of the room]

Sue: Hey, Nurse Fahler.
Nurse Fahler: Hi. Are you a new student?
Sue: No. I'm Sue. Sue Heck? I need to prove I was here October 13th. I was in a red shirt 'cause my gums bleed, and Allison Scott came in at the same time-
Nurse Fahler: Oh, I love Allison Scott. She's a spark plug, isn't she?
Sue: Yeah, she is. So anyway-
Nurse Fahler: You know it's her birthday next week?
Sue: We're not that close. So anyway, she had really bad cramps, so you asked if I could get her purse for her from the band room.
Nurse Fahler: Well, I remember Allison getting the purse, but for the life of me, I can't remember how.
Sue: I just told you how. I brought it from the band room! [gasps] Band teacher!

Sue: Mr. Stevenson.
Mr. Stevenson: I'm sorry, and you are...
Sue: Sue. Sue Heck.
Mr. Stevenson: And what do you play?
Sue: I don't play anything. I'm the future perfect attendance award recipient. But only if you can prove I was here on October 13th. See, I went to the orthodonist and I'm a gum-bleeder, so I went to the school nurse, and then Allison Scott came in-
Mr. Stevenson: Oh! Allison Scott! Great girl.
Sue: Yeah, she's awesome. Anyway, so she left band practice, so I had to come in and get her purse.
Mr. Stevenson: Now that you say it, I do remember someone disrupting our practice. We were getting ready for our fall concert...
Sue: That's right, and you were taping it. You were taping your rehearsal! [gasps] Mr. Stevenson, please, tell me you have that tape!

Brick: "Today I wrote a letter to president Nixon"?
Frankie: Look, she's not gonna read them. We just have to get it done. If you don't like it, erase Nixon and put in another president.