Eleanor Quote #52
Quote from Eleanor in Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis
Chidi: They're gonna catch us! This is an extremely precarious situation! I am vexed, Eleanor!
Eleanor: A marriage counselor and a human lie detector isn't my first choice for company, either. But they have no reason to suspect us! Plus, I think they may have actually just come here to, you know... swing. I say we do it. It'll get 'em to stop asking questions.
Chidi: No, I am not going to have sex with someone to get them to stop talking to me!
Eleanor: Really? You and I are very different.
Chidi: Yeah, I noticed!
Eleanor: You know what, man? I have spent every second in this place worried I was gonna get caught, but if we go down right now, that's on you, okay? Oh, you spend all your time teaching a charming, awesome lady? How sad for you. Face it, dude. I'm the best thing that ever happened to you. Because guess what, Chidi? Ya basic!
Chidi: Eleanor...
Eleanor: Yeah, I know, you want to do that thing where we're arguing and fighting, but then suddenly it's like, "Whoa, this is hot," and we start making out. Dream on! Or, whatever, fine, let's just do it.
Chidi: No, Eleanor, look. [they wave to Nina and Bart through the window]
The Good Place Quotes
‘Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.
Quote from Jason
Jason: Oh, dip, I get it. It's like, I knew this girl Sheila? She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone.
Chidi: Um... Okay, what?
Jason: Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug, and make him move to Sarasota. It would've broken up my whole break dancing crew and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards in Sheila's garage and called the cops. I framed one innocent gator dealer to save a 60-person dance crew.
Chidi: Shockingly, that is a relevant example of the Utilitarian dilemma. Well done.
Jason: Thanks! [raises hand]
Chidi: Um... Uh, yes, Jianyu?
Jason: Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.
Chidi: Go ahead, man.
Jason: Yes! [runs out]