Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...

Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.

Eleanor: Chidi! You'll never believe it. I was at the frozen yogurt place and I didn't know what I wanted, so I turned to the guy behind me, and I was like, "Why don't you go ahead?" [gasps] Just like that! "Why don't you go ahead?"
Chidi: O-okay?
Eleanor: Dude, you don't understand! I never did stuff like that when I was on Earth. But now, thanks to your "good person" lessons, I didn't hold up the line. I didn't even try a dozen samples I didn't want just to spite some jerk who told me I was holding up the line.
Chidi: You do that?
Eleanor: No, Chidi, I used to do that. Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it.
Chidi: That's great. I-I'm proud of you. So where's our yogurt?
Eleanor: Ugh. I forgot it. Oh... Can you go? I don't want to go all the way back. I ran all the way here and it was so hot. I mean, I will happily get it, because I told you I would. [heads for the door] Good person.