Eleanor Quote #51
Quote from Eleanor in Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis
Nina: Thank you guys so much. Sorry for the imposition.
Eleanor: Oh, bah.
Bart: Oh, well, if you want to know the truth, we asked Michael if we could stay with you. We are obsessed with your relationship. Always whispering, locking yourself in the house all day.
Nina: I thought I was an expert in true love 'cause of my old job, but I have a lot to learn from you guys.
Eleanor: Your job? What was your job?
Nina: I was a marriage counselor. You could say I wrote the book on healthy relationships. And I did! [both laughing] It's called, "How to Spot Problems in a Marriage From 100 Miles Away."
Eleanor & Chidi: Oh, cool. Really cool. Cool. Really, really cool. Cool, cool.
Chidi: And what about you, Bart?
Bart: Oh, well, my job wasn't nearly as interesting. I started a company that investigated identity theft. Analyzing body language, tracking and catching people pretending to be someone they're not. It's... pssh, snooze, am I right?
The Good Place Quotes
‘Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Chidi
Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...
Quote from Michael
Michael: Ah, Tahani. I've been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven't seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?
Tahani: Very well done, Michael.
Quote from Jason
Jason: Oh, dip, I get it. It's like, I knew this girl Sheila? She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone.
Chidi: Um... Okay, what?
Jason: Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug, and make him move to Sarasota. It would've broken up my whole break dancing crew and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards in Sheila's garage and called the cops. I framed one innocent gator dealer to save a 60-person dance crew.
Chidi: Shockingly, that is a relevant example of the Utilitarian dilemma. Well done.
Jason: Thanks! [raises hand]
Chidi: Um... Uh, yes, Jianyu?
Jason: Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.
Chidi: Go ahead, man.
Jason: Yes! [runs out]