Eleanor Quote #33
Quote from Eleanor in Tahani Al-Jamil
Eleanor: Hey, babe, got you coffee.
Samuel: Oh, great. Oh, Andy's Coffee, uh, we shouldn't go there. Everybody's boycotting.
Eleanor: Yeah, I know that one guy found a scorpion in his latte. I don't really care, though, 'cause it's so close to here.
Samuel: No, no, no, it's because he's sexually harassing people. Look, a journalist went undercover for an interview and recorded him. Here, watch.
Andy: [on video] Here's the thing, sweetheart. You're very qualified, but you're also what we call in the coffee shop game a, uh, "dog-face." You're a three, and you have to be a nine to work here. It's just math.
Woman: [o.s.] [on video] So I didn't get the job?
Andy: [chuckles] No, dog-face, you didn't get the job. All right, I'll check your references. Just to be nice-
Woman: Hey, my breasts!
Andy: I'll check 'em. Oh, they're good. Honk!
Samuel: I mean, this guy's a monster, we can't support this guy.
Eleanor: Okay, hey, you're not better than me just 'cause you won't support a guy who grabbed a boob once.
Samuel: No, I'm just saying we shouldn't go there. We can get coffee somewhere else.
Andy: Did you know your left reference is a little bit bigger than your right reference? It's not a bad thing, it's just... It's a thing.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Tahani Al-Jamil’ Quotes
Quote from Janet
Michael: This is the perfect hobby for you, Chidi. Cartography. Your neighborhood stretches way beyond what you've already seen. And you can map it, revealing all of the mysteries, like an explorer.
Chidi: I see how that might be fun. Uh, but, uh, exploring makes me nervous. I have what doctor's call "directional insanity." I once got lost on an escalator. So not exactly Christopher Columbus.
Janet: Fun fact: Columbus is in the Bad Place because of all the raping, slave trade, and genocide.
Michael: The fact that it makes you nervous is exactly why you should do it. You know, get out of your comfort zone. Become a trail-blazer.
Janet: Fun fact: all deceased members of the Portland Trail Blazers basketball team are also in the Bad Place. [giggles]
Michael: Yeah, sorry about this. I steered her away from colloquialisms and into "fun facts" and trivia tidbits. I thought it'd be more in her wheelhouse.
Janet: Fun fact: a "wheelhouse" is a part of a boat.
Michael: Okay, thank you, Janet, thank you.
Janet: Fun fact: Janet is me.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: [to herself] Relax, Eleanor. You sent this to yourself. This is your own guilt manifesting itself.
Jason: I've been waiting for you.
Eleanor: Jianyu? You talk now? You sent me these threatening notes? What the fork, man? Some Buddhist monk you are.
Jason: You don't belong here. Admit it.
Eleanor: Okay, you're right. I don't belong here. Michael made a mistake. But I'm trying, dude. I'm really trying to be a good person. And I think I'm changing for the better, so just please, please don't rat me out.
Jason: Don't worry, I won't. [Eleanor sighs] Because I'm not supposed to be here, either. I don't know how I got here, I have no idea what's going on, and I am freakin' out, homey! You got to help me. I'm scared!
Eleanor: What?
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: So all I want to do is just check in, see how everyone's holding up. Just bring some cheer to these extraordinary people.
Eleanor: Cool. So tell me about yourself. I mean, I want to hear it all, girlfriend. The good, the bad, the really bad, the embarrassing, the humiliating, just... Let's bond!
Tahani: Okay, well I was born in Pakistan, raised in London, schooled in Paris, but I think the primary reason that I'm in the Good Place is that I raised quite a lot of money for non-profit groups.
Eleanor: Oh. Did you ever, uh, skim a little off the top for yourself?
Tahani: Gracious, no, no! No, every penny was accounted for. And as I raised nearly $60 billion, there was quite a lot of pennies. [Eleanor chuckles] But I also dabbled in some other professions. I was a model, a museum curator, an "It Girl," and... oh, I was Baz Luhrmann's muse for a while. That was quite fun.
Eleanor: Modeling? That's a crazy life. Want to tell me about that rock bottom you probably hit?
Tahani: Oh, I didn't really do it for long. Couture just doesn't fit my body. I'm cursed with ample bosom.
Eleanor: And yet you soldier on.
Tahani: Oh, this is silly. So "Tahani" means "congratulations" in Arabic. And "Al-Jamil" means "beautiful," so my full name altogether means...
Eleanor: "Congratulations, Beautiful."
Tahani: Thanks, Eleanor. [giggles] You big flirt.