Blanche: You know, Dorothy, it's not just your mother who left. I feel like she's my mother too.
Dorothy: I know, honey, but don't worry. She'll be back.
Blanche: Now that she's gone, who am I gonna go to in the middle of the night with my deepest personal problems?
Dorothy: Wait a minute. You went to my mother's room in the middle of the night?
Blanche: Many, many times. Two or three times a week. And she was always so kind and comforting.
Dorothy: I don't understand. Every time I'd knock on her door late at night, she'd say, "Not now. I'm watching Bob Costas."
Blanche: Sophia doesn't have a TV in her room.
Dorothy: I know.
Blanche: Then after we'd finished talking, she'd always give me a piece of hard candy and a kiss goodnight.

Rose: I can't sleep. And what's worse, I went to Sophia's room for one of our talks and then I remembered she left, thanks to you, Dorothy.
Dorothy: You had late-night talks with my mother?
Rose: All the time.
Dorothy: And she gave you hard candy?
Rose: No. I'd ask, but she was always afraid I'd choke on it.

Rose: Sophia's not the only one with a sleepless night ahead of her. To tell you the truth, I don't know what to do about Buzz. This might be a second chance at love. I'm thinking of going to Europe with him.
Dorothy: Rose, quite frankly, I don't get it. What is this hold that Buzz has over you?
Blanche: Oh, I know exactly what she's going through, Dorothy. First love can be very powerful. I felt the same way about Hayward Boyle, the star pitcher on our high school baseball team. An amazing athlete. That boy had exceptional control. He was always up for extra innings. And his delivery-
Dorothy: All right, Blanche. Enough!
Rose: Yeah, we get it. So what was he like in bed?

Sophia: Good morning, Maria.
Maria: Good morning, Mrs. Petrillo. Did you have trouble sleeping?
Sophia: No. Why?
Maria: Well, last night I woke up and you were sitting on a chair in my room.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Well, where I used to live, the bathroom was across the hall. Sorry. It won't happen again.

Dorothy: Ma.
Blanche: Sophia, you're here and you have your suitcase. Does that mean you're moving back?
Sophia: I don't get it. I'm gone a few days and the dumb one's in there acting like a slut, while the slut's in here being stupid. Of course I'm back.

Dorothy: Ma, it's so good to have you home. And I was wrong. I have no right to tell you how to run your life or who your friends should be. I mean, you're obviously doing something right. You've made it to 83. I guess it's just me trying to hold on to you.
Sophia: No. You were right, Dorothy. I was with the wrong crowd. By the way, if anyone asks, I was here last night.

Rose: Miles.
Miles: I'm not finished, Rose. I take back what I said before. I'm not gonna sit around eating my heart out while you date somebody else. I want you to stop seeing Buzz immediately.
Rose: Okey dokey.
Miles: Because if you don't- I'm sorry, but what did you say?
Rose: I said okey dokey.
Miles: Okey- Okey- I can't believe it. After all these years of being sensitive, I barge in here like some macho jerk, and I get exactly what I want.
Rose: Oh, Miles, I find this side of you very exciting.
Miles: Well, it's the jungle cat in me. I'll try to keep it carefully hidden, of course.
Rose: [growls]
Sophia: Oh, my God. Now she's with the other boyfriend. It's like living with Cher.

Rose: That's when Buzz came along. He was St. Olaf's heppest cat. A musician. You know the type. He once put a whole box of Chiclets in his mouth on a dare.
Dorothy: Cool.
Rose: Well, I almost married Buzz. We were talking about it when he got a call from the Spike Jones Band. They need someone to make the whoop sound when Spike dropped his pants. Just before he went to New York, Buzz told me he'd be back, but I never saw him again. I waited for a while, but one gig led to another... Meanwhile, Charlie and I got closer. And you know what happened after that.
Blanche: Well, did Buzz ever get married?
Rose: No. He just traveled the world playing his music.
Dorothy: So how did you finally get over Buzz?
Rose: I never really did entirely. To this day, whenever I see a man drop his pants, some little part of me wants to go whoop!
Blanche: I know what you mean.

Dorothy: I mean didn't you leave out some important details about your relationship with Buzz?
Blanche: No. She did exactly the right thing. Oh, I never tell men about my past.
Rose: Why?
Blanche: Takes too long.

Dorothy: Tell me, Buzz, is "Buzz" short for something?
Buzz: No. Actually, it's not an unusual name in St. Olaf. Everybody in my family is named Buzz.
Rose: Buzz and I are going out to lunch.
Buzz: You're kidding? Buzz is here too?
Rose: Sorry, girls. This one's mine.