‘Triple Play’
Season 5, Episode 15 - Aired January 27, 1990
Miles' daughter tells Rose not to see her father anymore. Meanwhile, Blanche tries to meet men by advertising a Mercedes for sale, and Sophia is flush with cash after the government mixes up her social security.
Quote from Blanche
James: Listen, I'll give you $20,000 and free root canal work.
Blanche: You're a dentist!
Thomas: I'll tell you what, I'll give you $25,000 and free root canal work.
Blanche: You're a dentist, too!
Thomas: No, but I really want this car.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Mail call! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. See ya.
Dorothy: Ma, these are all checks from the government?
Sophia: No, there's also an application for a gold card. Boy, word gets around fast!
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Now, just a minute. I have my own problems. I'm dealing with a mother who stole money from the government.
Sophia: Come on! It's not like I'm an elected official.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Now, I don't want my plan to go to waste. I still intend to date James and Thomas, so let them down easy. Frank and Eddie, flush 'em.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Excuse me. Excuse me, did you happen to see a little old lady go by?
Thomas: You mean the one who said, "What are you staring at? I can buy you and sell you"? Went that way.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Now, look, Ma, we have to talk about the money.
Sophia: Don't worry, pussycat. Your sister and brother don't have to know anything about this.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Gentlemen, please! You don't seem to understand what I'm trying to tell you. The car is not for sale!
James: Why not?
Sophia: It's haunted.
James: Haunted? What?
Sophia: The car is haunted. I should know, I rode in it.
Thomas: You look OK.
Sophia: I'm 27 years old.
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: We're not getting anywhere. Blanche wants James and Thomas. I'll try to save them. You go over there with Frick and Frack and try to ditch 'em.
Sophia: You want me to offend them?
Dorothy: Pretend they're family. Look, everybody named after an apostle, come with me. Excuse me, there was no Eddie.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Have you guys ever heard of Totally Hidden Video? Well, underneath this gray wig is comedian Kaye Ballard. Thanks for being on our show.
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: So that's the story. The car is not available, but Blanche Devereaux is.
James: I can't believe that I've been hustled!
Thomas: Boy, if I wasn't a teacher and accustomed to abuse, I'd leave too!
Dorothy: Really? You know, I'm a teacher myself.
Thomas: No kidding? Say, um, why don't you tell me about this automobile thing again? Say tonight, over dinner?
Dorothy: Oh, now, Blanche Devereaux is a very charming, attractive woman.
Thomas: Yes, she is. Shall I pick you up around 7:30?
Dorothy: Oh, I feel terrible about this. Let's say 8:00.
Sophia: Here. Take her someplace decent.