Trudy: Dorothy, what the hell is going on here?
Dorothy: Revenge! It suddenly occurred to me. What if this was the ultimate practical joke? So I dragged it out of Jack, and the two of us cooked up this topper.
Trudy: Jack, I can't believe you went along with this.
Jack: So I got in bed with Dorothy. It was a joke!
Dorothy: Don't even think it, Ma.

Sophia: If you knew before, why didn't you tell me?
Dorothy: Ma, you have a big mouth.
Sophia: Me? If I had a big mouth, do you think your one-night stand with the bug man would still be a secret? Oops.

Trudy: Dorothy Zbornak, this is the most underhanded, sneaky practical joke anyone has ever made, and I have just one thing to say. Boy, have I missed you!
Dorothy: Oh, Trudy Trudy! I've missed you, too.

Blanche: Well, Dorothy Zbornak, I cannot believe you put Rose and me through this.
Rose: Yeah!
Dorothy: What are you talking about?
Blanche: You knew Trudy was playing a practical joke all along, and you never shared it with your best friends? We thought you were devastated. We suffered right along with you.
Rose: Yeah!
Blanche: That was insensitive.
Rose: Insensitive!
Blanche: Selfish.
Rose: Selfish!
Blanche: Listen, as far as we are concerned, Dorothy Zbornak, you have gone too far this time. No. This is unforgivable. We are never gonna speak to you again.
Rose: Right!
Blanche: Gotcha.
Dorothy: Very, very convincing, Blanche.
Blanche: I can't take all the credit. I did have some help. Right, Rose? Rose? Rose?