Dorothy: Ma, will you knock it off?
Sophia: What?
Dorothy: "What?" We've been washing glasses for ten minutes. We've finished three.
Sophia: So what's the rush? It's not like you have a date tonight.
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: It's not like you have a date any night. Or any day.
Dorothy: Ma, when I find somebody worth going out with, I'll go out with him. Now, will you please stop nagging me?
Sophia: Nagging? Is that what it's called when a mother wants a little happiness for her daughter?
Dorothy: I'd like to finish these glasses before Gloria gets here.
Sophia: Your sister's not coming till tomorrow.
Dorothy: I know.

Sophia: Blanche, Blanche, does he have a friend for Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh.
Sophia: We know this is last minute. So we'll take short, bald, fat.
Blanche: I'm sorry, Sophia, but I've already palmed Rose off on his fat friend. He's a lighting director.

Dorothy: I'll get it.
Sophia: I'll get it!
Dorothy: Ma, I said I'd get it.
Sophia: I don't want you to get it!
Dorothy: Let's not argue. You get it.
Sophia: What am I, your servant?

Sophia: Don't pick on your sister. Here, she brought you something.
Gloria: It's a gift certificate for a complete makeover at Elizabeth Arden's.
Sophia: Maybe now you can get a date.
Dorothy: Please, Ma. I'm not calling Captain Hook.

Sophia: That Gloria's some special kid!
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, she's your baby. All mothers think their babies are special.
Sophia: That's ridiculous. I think all my children are special. Except Phil.

Dorothy: Well, I guess Ma and Gloria aren't coming back for dinner. What say we go out and grab a hamburger?
Blanche: Oh, sounds good to me. [leaves through the swinging kitchen door, lets it swing back]
Rose: This reminds me of when Daddy used to take us for hamburgers on Saturday night. We'd grab our dog Binky, and we'd pile into the- [is hit by the swinging door]

Gloria: Dorothy. You don't resent me, do you?
Dorothy: Don't be silly! Why would I resent you? Oh, please!
Gloria: For having money?
Dorothy: No, I don't resent you. Oh, I did, a great deal, as a matter of fact, but I've outgrown it.
Gloria: Even though my marriage was happy and yours hit the rocks?
Dorothy: Well, that bothered me for awhile, but I got over it.
Gloria: Even though all my children are practicing professionals and yours aren't?
Dorothy: Please, please, Gloria, I'm happy for your children! All except Katherine. No, she really should've taken the nose job instead of the Mustang for graduation.

Gloria: This reminds me of when we were little, and you used to tell me bedtime stories.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah, yeah. "The Bogeyman and the Little Girl", "The Zombie in the Hamper", "Cannibal Parents
". I think between the ages of five and seven you might've gotten two hours sleep.

Gloria: Dorothy, why don't you ever come to California to visit me?
Dorothy: Well, it's not easy, you know. I have my job, I have responsibilities, I've never been invited.
Gloria: Well, I'm inviting you now. I have a huge house with servants and an ocean view. And Bert Convy shops in my grocery store.
Dorothy: Bert Convy? Let's leave now!

Dorothy: Gloria tells me you're gonna go live with her.
Sophia: That's right. I think it's best.
Dorothy: Isn't that kind of a fast decision?
Sophia: Why, you think I'm making a mistake?
Dorothy: Oh, no, of course not. I mean, you know, not if you think it's best.
Sophia: What do you think?
Dorothy: Well, I can understand why you'd want to live with her. She can give you so much more than I can. You'd live in a mansion, you'd have servants, you'd do your grocery shopping with Bert Convy.
Sophia: And you'll have your space. And you can sit home on Friday night and become an old maid like your Aunt Regina and you won't have to listen to me nag.