Maitre d': Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure we all join his son, his daughter and his new bride, Candy, in wishing many returns of the day to our friend and patron for 40 years, Giles Forsythe. [gun fire, woman screams] My God! They've been murdered!
Sophia: Does this mean we don't get any birthday cake?

Dorothy: Being right-handed, I would slash from left to right. But from the fact that the murder weapon was dropped to the left of the victim, we can deduce that the murderer is left-handed. Notice that Gloria, like most left-handed people, wears her wristwatch on her right wrist. I think it is painfully clear that Philip and Gloria both planned murders, and each meant to pin it on the other. They knew that the lights would be turned off when the cake appeared because that happens every year. Coincidence? Ha! Siblings often think alike.
Marlowe: You've given us a who, a how and a "Ha." But what about why? What's the motive?
Dorothy: When a 22-year-old marries an 88-year-old, chances are she's not after his body.

Blanche: Girls, guess what? Kendall just told me he needs to be alone with me.
Rose: What did you do?
Blanche: Well, what else? I gave him my key to our room. Now, let me have yours, Rose. You can bunk with Dorothy and Sophia tonight.
Rose: But we were gonna be roomies.
Blanche: Either you're bunkin' with them, or you can sleep in the closet.
Rose: Closet?
Blanche: Give me that key.

Dorothy: You're not helping, Rose. It's almost as though you believe Blanche is guilty.
Rose: Well, she lied about my earrings, and she took them. I mean, deceit, then theft. Isn't murder the next logical step?
Dorothy: St. Olaf, right?

Sophia: Oh, come on, Pussycat. You figured out that mystery at dinner.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, that was a game. This is life.
Sophia: Oh, that's right. You've never been good at life.

Posey: You want a motive? I'll give you a motive. That woman gave Kendall her room key. I saw her do it. Her plan was to seduce him to insure that she would win the job as his assistant. Then she got the other key to the room from that woman there. She- She rushed up to the room. She tore off her clothes.
Sophia: That's Velcro. It just gives the illusion of a tear.
Posey: She flung her dress on the bed. She slipped into a negligee and awaited her prey. What she didn't realize was the reason that Kendall went to her room, the reason Kendall ordered the champagne, was to let her down easy. He'd already promised the job to me. And the reason he went to her room, rather than having her come to his, was that I was sharing his room.
Blanche: Slut!
Posey: When Kendall told her the truth, she flew into a jealous rage. She plunged the steak knife into his chest. That tramp murdered my lover!
Dorothy: I know Blanche Devereaux, Lieutenant, and this tramp is incapable of committing murder.

Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, honey, how was your date last night?
Blanche: Oh, unforgettable. Mel Bushman and I were coming back from a champagne picnic at Sunset Beach. We ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere.
Rose: Oh, my goodness! What did you do?
Blanche: You name it.