Dorothy: Oh, wait a minute. What about Ma?
Sophia: Thank you, pussycat.
Dorothy: We'll have to get a sitter.
Blanche: No more sitters. We're still in litigation with the last one.
Sophia: She bit me first.

Dorothy: Look, you're not going to spoil this for me. Tonight, I get to be the person I want to be. No baggage.
I am free. Nobody has to know that I haven't fulfilled my dreams, or that I got pregnant in high school, or that I stay home on Saturday nights.
Sophia: Then what the hell am I supposed to talk about?

Blanche: Rose, all I'm sayin' is, I just want to make sure you're prepared.
Rose: Look, I studied that yearbook as hard as you did. Ask me anything. Anything.
Blanche: Okay, I will. What were the school colors?
Rose: Uh, gee... Brick and a kind of a cementy color between the bricks.

Blanche: Um, all right, how many fingers did the shop teacher have?
Rose: Nine.
Blanche: Oh, that's too easy. All shop teachers have nine.

Dorothy: Rose, you all right?
Rose: I just feel a little faint. I- I think getting together with my old friends is starting to get to me.
Dorothy: Rose, you don't know anybody here.
Rose: So the snubbing isn't race-oriented?

Dorothy: Oh, God, you know I really hate reunions. I mean, everybody is so plastic and fake. Everybody pretending to be something they're not. Why can't people just be themselves?
Tommy: Cindy Lou Peeples?
Dorothy: Tommy Lunt? [both scream]

Larry: Excuse me. Aren't you Mrs. Gonzales? Spanish 101?
Sophia: Si.
Larry: Hi, Larry Tucker. You know, I- I was always afraid to tell you this when I was in your class, but I had a huge crush on you back then.
Sophia: Why didn't you ever do anything about it?
Larry: Mrs. Gonzales, you were my teacher.
Sophia: And you were my favorite student. Well, I'm not your teacher anymore, and Mr. Gonzales is dead. Let's mambo.

Ted: Susan? Susan Armstrong?
Blanche: Ted? Ted O' Brien? My, my, my. Why, you would not believe how often I've thought about you over the years.
Ted: I'll bet. I remember our one date when I told you I didn't like girls and you told everyone. Everyone. Well, guess what? I still don't like girls and I don't like you.
Blanche: Ted? Ted! Oh, who cares.

Tommy: So I guess the most interesting thing about the tar business is- Well, actually, I have to pick two things because it's impossible to pick one. Well, anyway, the two most interesting things about the tar business are the tar itself, and the number of shoes you go through. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm probably boring you. Enough about me. Let's talk about you. So, where do you get your tar?
Dorothy: I lost my first husband in a tar pit. Excuse me.

Bill: Excuse me. Well, if it isn't Susan Armstrong.
Blanche: Oh, and don't you look handsome, Bill. Wow, you haven't aged a bit. I've missed you.
Bill: Really, Susan? How about our baby? The one my parents raised? Do you ever miss him?
Blanche: You know, it isn't really good to dwell on the past. Um, so what do you do for a livin'? Bill? Bill? Oh, who cares.