Sophia: On with the feast.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I may not have an IQ of 173, but I know what you mean by continuity and family. And next year, I want to learn the sauce.
Sophia: Deal, Pussycat. It's not that hard. First you get one large pot, a dozen plump tomatoes and one moron to do all the work for you.

Rose: Oh, Dorothy, what crossword puzzle are you doing?
Dorothy: Sunday New York Times'. In ink.

Sophia: So, what you're telling me is I'm gonna take this recipe with me to the grave.
Dorothy: Right along with the secret of why Uncle Gino legally adopted that goat.

Rose: Sophia, why don't you teach me the recipe? I'm practically a daughter.
Sophia: Because you have to hand it down to a blood relative or the queen of the festival. When was the last time you had sex?
Rose: A couple of weeks ago.
Sophia: Let's not split hairs. Congratulations. You're the queen.
Rose: I'm the quee- I'm the queen?
Dorothy: You're also the fool, so we're saving a lot on payroll.

Blanche: Rebecca, what a surprise.
Rebecca: Look at you. And you used to yell at me for wearin' halter tops.

Rebecca: Mama, I just got a job interview, and I really need you to baby-sit for Aurora.
Blanche: Aurora. I just hate that name. Why couldn't you have found something more musical, more- More Southern, more beautiful?
Rebecca: Sorry, Blanche.

Rebecca: I'd love to stay and argue with you, but I have to go.
Blanche: You know how much I wanna be with Oreo, but-
Rebecca: Aurora, Mama.
Blanche: Aurora. I just have such a block against that name. Rebecca-
Rebecca: You promised if I moved to Miami you'd help me out, and I really need this job. Oh, here. You have a good time with Grandma.
Blanche: Rebecca! Will you stop sayin' that? You keep callin' me "Grandma," she's gonna grow up to think that's my name.

Director: Blanche Devereaux.
Blanche: Hi. Larry, is that you?
Director: No, Larry's not directing this one. He's sick.
Blanche: His back didn't go out again, did it?
Director: How did you know?
Blanche: I performed Annie for him.
Director: Really? Where?
Blanche: None of your business.

Sophia: Hi, Pussycat. How was school?
Dorothy: Oh, I hate those smart kids. They may be our brightest, but they're also our rudest, considering most of them are guests in our country. Oh, give me a class of red-blooded underachievers.

Dorothy: You know, Blanche, it's so nice to see you take this much of an interest in your granddaughter.
Blanche: Well, I have to. Jason thinks the baby's mine. Well, don't look at me that way. He thought the baby was mine. I just didn't correct him. It's not a lie. I'm- I'm just withholding the truth.
Dorothy: Blanche, how could you do that?
Blanche: Because over the past couple of weeks, I've really gotten to like him.