‘Even Grandmas Get the Blues’
Season 6, Episode 20 - Aired March 2, 1991
Blanche pretends her baby granddaughter is actually her daughter to impress a man she met at a theatre audition. Meanwhile, Sophia shares a Sicilian family recipe with Rose.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: OK, Queenie I have to make salsa grandioso again, and this time, I'm gonna teach you how.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Not the sauce, Ma, no. I mean, that takes weeks. There are 152 ingredients. I just don't have the time.
Sophia: Dorothy, for 1400 years, the women in our family have been handing this recipe down from mother to daughter. Each generation improves upon it in some way. Like, for instance, it was my great-grandmother who added heat.
Rose: What did you add, Sophia?
Sophia: A mouthful of wine. It was an accident. A delicious accident.
Quote from Rose
Dorothy: I'm gonna be teaching that honors program class, and it's going to be a challenge. I'm gonna have students who know that Chekhov is a brilliant Russian playwright, not the guy who was the navigator on the Enterprise.
Rose: I didn't know the guy from Star Trek wrote plays.
Quote from Blanche
Rebecca: Look, I know you don't like the name, and I know you think I'm bringin' her up wrong.
Blanche: No, I just don't see why you have to feed her when you come to visit me at the museum. You don't see me taking out my breast in public. A lot.
Quote from Blanche
Jason: Well, I thought you were great.
Blanche: Oh! Well, uh, I was born to act. I've given some of my best performances on the stage.
Quote from Rose
Dorothy: But, Ma, this is different. I've always wanted to teach an honors class, but now that I am, well, the kids are making me feel stupid.
Sophia: Dorothy, I'm gonna tell you something I never told you before. When you were about 12 and we lived in Brooklyn, they called me into the school to tell me you had the highest IQ in the borough.
Rose: That's a coincidence. I was told I had the IQ of a burro.
Dorothy: Ma, I had no ide-- The brightest kid in Brooklyn? Well, that certainly explains the feeling of being right all the time. What is it?
Sophia: 173.
Rose: I don't know if you know this, but a burro can find its way back home.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Wonder if that's Jason. Listen, I'm warnin' you, if anybody blows the whistle on me, the old lady's out on the street. Rose, go in the other room and cry like a baby.
Quote from Dorothy
Blanche: Oh, I've been tossing and turnin'. I can't sleep. I don't know what I'm gonna do about Jason. He's reached a point in his life where he's anxious to settle down. He wants us to have another child right away. Well, frankly, I don't know if I want another baby so soon.
Dorothy: I understand. Wait a couple years, and Medicare will pay for it.
Sophia: Why wait? Have it now and The Enquirer will pay for it.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Hello! And how is little Aurora doing today?
Rebecca: Oh, what a good girl she was this mornin'. She was just smilin' and smilin' and smilin'. I know sometimes it's just gas, but she was so cute.
[Sophia tugs on Dorothy's shirt and then smiles at her]
Dorothy: Ma, it's not cute once you pass 80.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Hold it, Dorothy. Not stay for dinner? Not stay for the sauce? Miss the whole festival? Where's your sense of family, your sense of tradition?
Dorothy: Ma, it's just that I want to be around my intellectual peers.
Sophia: I got bad news for you, Pussycat. You are. I made up your IQ.
Dorothy: I wasn't the brightest kid in Brooklyn?
Sophia: So I lied. Did it help you get along with your honors class?
Dorothy: Yes, but Ma, you lied to me.
Sophia: Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny. I've been messin' with your head for over 60 years.
Quote from Rose
Sophia: Come on, it's 6:30. We're already five minutes behind schedule. Rose, before you bring in the sauce, tell us what ingredient you added.
Rose: I don't want to spoil the surprise. I'll give you a hint. They're sugary and they're grrrrreat!