Blanche: Girls, I've got big news. I found something Melissa and I can do together. I have entered her in the Little Miss Miami pageant. And we're a cinch to win, aren't we? Hit it, sweetheart.
Melissa: Hi, my name's Melissa, and I'm five years old.
Rose: Blanche, she's seven.
Dorothy: No, that works out to be five in Blanche years.

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm not sure that this is a good idea, either. I mean, beauty pageants are archaic and sexist, not to mention degrading.
Rose: Lost the Little Miss Brooklyn contest, did you?
Dorothy: I practiced that trombone for weeks! And there was Ma sitting in the front row, sucking a lemon.
Blanche: Well, you were just nervous because your mother was in the front row.
Dorothy: She was a judge.

Dorothy: Uh, this is my friend, Rose Nylund. I'll go get Ma. I'm sure she's anxious to get reacquainted.
Rose: Oh, then you've known Sophia before?
Nurse DeFarge: Yes, she was one of the residents a few years ago at a place I worked called Shady Pines. But to tell you the truth, I don't think that she'll remember me.
Dorothy: Ma, I'm sure you-
Sophia: [screaming, wheels away]
Dorothy: I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Blanche: Hey!
Dorothy: What are you doing?
Rose: We were going to watch The Nun's Story. I've never seen it before.
Nurse DeFarge: Oh, she leaves the convent in the end. Here it is, Ironside. He's the master of the wheelchair. Just look at the way he takes those corners.
Sophia: Oh, come on. The guy's got radials.

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I know I don't pamper you. But the reason I make you do things for yourself, is because I want to keep you active and vital. The best way to show you I care is to make sure that you- You don't settle into old age.
Sophia: So you're saying you make me vacuum and dust and scrape crusty stuff off the tile because you love me?
Dorothy: Honestly? It tickles me.
Sophia: Pussycat.
Dorothy: Ma.

Dorothy: I hate this. I am not good at firing people. I've never been good at confrontations.
Rose: How about when you made that cop cry?
Dorothy: Then he wasn't much of a cop, was he?

Sophia: [ringing bell]
Dorothy: You rang?
Sophia: I want a cracker. [rings again] I'll need something to wash it down, and a twist of lemon would be nice.
[Dorothy hands Sophia a can of soda and a lemon. Sophia rings the bell again as Dorothy walks away]
Dorothy: What is it now?
Sophia: Habit.

Dorothy: Listen, Ma, I've made a decision. I think we're gonna have to get a nurse to take care of you until you're well.
Sophia: A nurse? Why can't you take care of me?
Dorothy: Normally, I would, but I have that education conference starting Tuesday. And Blanche is busy with her granddaughter, and Rose is... Well, I just think a nurse is the way to go.

Sophia: I don't need a nurse. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
Dorothy: Oh, really? Then why have you been running me ragged doing things for you?
Sophia: Honestly? It tickles me.

Dorothy: Now, it's settled. I'll have a nurse here tomorrow.
Sophia: Wouldn't it be cheaper just to set me adrift on some ice floe?
Dorothy: If it were, do you think you'd still be here?