Jackie: No way! You got us tickets for the school Bazaar-nival!
Adam: That's right. One part bazaar, one part carnival.
Jackie: Two parts fun. You're so cute.
Emmy Mirsky: Are you swooning at a Bazaar-nival?
Adam: It's our special thing since we had our first kiss on the bumper cars.
Jackie: That's how I chipped my tooth.
Adam: It was a magical time.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, there was nothing my mom loved more than cooking her way into her family's heart, from her ooey, gooey potato casserole to whatever this thing is. But her signature move was the art of Parming, featuring her legendary dish of choice.
Beverly: Shrimp Parm. Shrimp Parm.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Unlike my mom, Barry and his fiance, Lainey, were happy to leave the cooking to a microwave.

Beverly: Everybody in the kitchen! Family history is about to take place! [later:] The others will be down in a minute. They'd be crushed to miss this. Family presentation! Down here, now!
Pops: They clearly don't care, but I'm jazzed! What's the big news?
Beverly: Lainey, we are gathered here today in front of parts of my entire family for the bequeathing of our family's most prized possession.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was true. This really was the biggest deal in the world, to my mom and no one else.
Lainey: Oh. Recipes?
Beverly: The keys to Barry's happiness are in this box. You're welcome.
Pops: Speech! Speech! Speech!

Lainey: While I appreciate the gesture, I just don't see myself cooking for Barry, like, ever.
Beverly: That is the single most upsetting thing I've ever heard, so take the box.
Lainey: Thanks, but I really won't use the box, so I kinda don't need the box.
Beverly: Well, I don't need the box. I've got the box memorized, so take the box.
Pops: Just take the box!
Lainey: Fine! I'll take the box!
Beverly: Yay! My Schmoopy-in-law wants the box! Oh!
Pops: Speech! Speech, speech!
Beverly: My Barry's in such good hands.

Jackie: Dude, I discovered all this cool new music and clothes and made tons of new friends. Speaking of...
Carla: 'Sup, skank?
Adam: Carla?! This special and terrifying person's now your friend?
Jackie: Well, when I first got there, I didn't know anyone, and then I saw Carla, and I was like, "Ah, crap, it's Carla. She's probably gonna make fun of my face and then tell everyone I'm a total nerd."
Carla: And I totally did. But then Jack Attack let me borrow her hairbrush, and I was like, "You're my best friend now."
Jackie: She kicked a rat for me.
Adam: Well, it sounds like you and Jack Attack had a good time.

Zipperhead Cashier: Stop talking, and I'll help you. First, we gotta fix your dumb hair.
Adam: I'll do whatever it takes to turn into Eric Idle.
Zipperhead Cashier: I think you mean Billy Idol.
Adam: Right! So, how long will it take to get cool, punky... Gah! Oh, boy, it smells so weird!
Dave Kim: This is not gonna be an easy process for you.

Lainey: Barry, we need to talk. I'm in huge trouble, dude!
Barry: Good thing I was just sitting here waiting for you. What is it?
Lainey: Someone stole your mom's recipe box out of my purse!
Barry: Oh, no! How could something like this happen?!
Lainey: I know! It's so weird! They didn't take my car keys or my wallet or my Walkman.
Barry: Not all thieves are in it for the money. Some are after the hottest food trends. Thief-cooks, they're called.
Lainey: This was so important to your mom. She'll never forgive me!
Barry: But with me at your side, we'll find a way.
Lainey: You're an amazing human being.
Barry: Must feel good to say it out loud.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my mom took Lainey under her wing, my new look had taken flight. I had my new hair, studded vest, and a Black Flag shirt, which I thought was bug spray. Goodbye, Sandy from "Grease"! Hello, Billy Idol!
Carla: Whoa! Check out the hot new guy!
Johnny Atkins: I feel threatened, and I wanna punch your face off.
Adam: No, wait! It's me! Adam? Jackie's boyfriend?
Johnny Atkins: Why didn't you say so? I almost went to jail just now. Cool.

Adam: If you see Jackie, tell her I'm in for Saturday night. Let's burn some rubber.
Carla: Wait. You race? But Jackie said you're, like, afraid of birds and have allergies.
Adam: Not allergic to speed. Just cat dander and feather pillows.

Johnny Atkins: Hope there's no hard feelings when I smoke you and take your car.
Adam: Wait, that's what a pink slip is?! Ohhhh, balls. This went bad fast.