Geoff Quote #249

Quote from Geoff in Hanukkah On the Seas

Geoff: Isn't this great? Our first holiday with my family.
Erica: Yeah, I was kinda nervous because I always thought your family was so normal and perfect.
Geoff: Totally. Wait. What are you talking about? They are perfect.
Erica: Come on. Jojobean? Your parents totally favor her.
Geoff: That's not true.
Erica: They gave you grief for being five minutes late, but she just waltzes in whenever. Plus, there's two of us, and we're in the crappy room.
Geoff: Um, I think you mean the crafty room. And it's the best. Cheggit. This bolt of black latex. What is my mom intending to do with this?

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 ‘Hanukkah On the Seas’ Quotes

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Murray, where are you going?
Murray: I gotta find a lifeboat.
Beverly: You're gonna get in a tiny boat in the middle of the Labrador Sea? What are you gonna eat?
Murray: I'm sure on the lifeboat, there's provisions and whatnot. Biscuits.
Beverly: Biscuits? What about protein? You know how you get when you don't eat your meats.
Murray: That is why I stole a butter knife from the buffet. Those fish come swimming by... Boom! Surprise!
Beverly: You hate sushi.
Murray: There's a flare gun on that lifeboat. I'll cook 'em up!
Beverly: What about polar bears?
Murray: We're back to the butter knife.
Beverly: You couldn't chase a possum out from under the house. How are you gonna kill a polar bear with a butter knife?
Murray: With pure adrenaline and the will to survive!

Quote from Barry

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, a cruise was everyone's dream vacation. It was the best game show prize. A floating luxury hotel. And it was the only vacation with its own theme song.
Kathie Lee Gifford: [on TV] ♪ If they could see you now ♪
Beverly, Barry & Adam: ♪ Out on a Fun Ship cruise ♪ ♪ Eating fancy food and doing what you choose ♪ ♪ All I can say is wow ♪ ♪ Hey, look at where you are ♪ ♪ Tonight we're living... Pow! ♪ ♪ Just like a movie star ♪ ♪ What a fun ship, holy cow ♪ ♪ They'd never believe it ♪ ♪ If your friends could see you now ♪
Pop-Pop: Why is this peppy broad all in my face?
Murray: She never stops moving. She's like a lady Chihuahua.
Barry: That's the vivacious Kathie Lee Gifford, whose energy and spunk knows no bounds. She's basically me if I were a sassy redhead.
Beverly: Well, the best part is she's singing about making her horrible land-bound friends jealous. That's exactly what I would do.
Murray: Being trapped on a floating motel is not my idea of a vacation.
Barry: Once you get into international waters, the laws of man no longer apply. You can jaywalk or violate federal copyrights. We'll see who's boss now, Mickey Mouse.
Adam: None of that's right.

Quote from Murray

Adam: But think of your children who've never seen the world. The closest I've been to another country is that Chinese buffet place that also serves pizza.
Murray: Yeah, I like my bathroom here, where I know where all the levers and papers are at.
Barry: You're a piece of garbage!
Adam: I wish anyone else was my father!
Murray: How many times do I have to tell you? What you think of me as a man does not matter to me.