Beverly Quote #984
Pops: Okay, I'm sure it's not as bad as ya think. Lemme see that letter.
Beverly: Take your pick.
Pops: "Dear Ms. Goldberg, your blending of fish and veal is both upsetting and against God's plan."
Features in the collection: Cooking with Beverly Goldberg.
More The Goldbergs Quotes
Beverly: In honor of my schmoopie-poop's arrival home and back into my loving arms, I present the most tender brisket ever brisketed.
Erica: How can you brisket at a time like this? Dad's about to come home and lose his mind when he hears I dropped out.
Beverly: That's the point. I know exactly how to butter up your father. You do it with meat. And actual butter.
Beverly: Here, try Bevy's secret hangover recipe.
Other Erica: Why does it smell like fish?
Beverly: That's the shrimp. It's the aspirin of the sea. Drink up.
Mrs. Kim: You can't put cheese on seafood! It breaks every culinary law!
Beverly: I'll put cheese on anything. Anything.
Mrs. Kim: You can't cheese anything.
Beverly: I once cheesed a slice of watermelon.
Mrs. Kim: That's disgusting.
Beverly: Or is it delicious?
Quote from The Darryl Dawkins Dance
Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.
Quote from Happy Mom, Happy Life
Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.
Quote from Beverly
Pops: Aw, honey, what's wrong?
Beverly: Nothing. I'm just tearing up 'cause Julia's chopping an onion.
Pops: You do know that that onion is on TV, right?
Beverly: [voice breaking] Okay, fine! [sniffles] It's my cookbook. I sent it out to some publishers, and they said I was poop and that my cooking was poop and that my one and only dream is poop!
Pops: No one has just one dream, Bevy. I'm sure you got plenty of others.
Beverly: Well, like Barry becomes a doctor, Erica wins a Grammy, Adam gets a rare disease that prevents his snuggly little body from developing into a full adult man.
Pops: Bev, none of those dreams are about you, and one in particular is very troubling.
Beverly: Damn it, I know! Erica's never gonna win a Grammy!
Quote from Murray
Geoff: Bar, those letters were written about me. And they need to be sent in sealed so the admissions people know they're legit.
Barry: So, you're saying I'm going to actually have to ask a teacher to write nice stuff about me?
Erica: Ha! You're not going to college.
Murray: College-what? Who said college?
Matt: Whoa, where'd he come from?
Andy: For a big man, he moves like a phantom.
Murray: Because college is the only thing that matters to me. That and the thermostat.
Quote from Beverly
Adult Adam: [v.o.] The '80s marked the rise of the cooking show. There was Yan, The Galloping Gourmet, the Cajun cook, and of course, a Swedish Muppet. But my mom's lifelong hero was Julia Child. Julia's show, The French Chef, was the inspiration for our family's deliciously cheesy "French phase."
Beverly: For Erica, savory Quiche Lorraine. For Murray, melty cheese fondue.
Murray: It's like nachos without the hassle.
Beverly: And for my hungry bear, potatoes au gratin, extra gratin.
Barry: This is gonna wreck me. Thanks, Mom.