Murray Quote #527
Erica: Ooh, one problem, you're not invited.
Beverly: Please. Linda and Lou Schwartz are friends. They'd love to have us.
Erica: You've never even talked to them.
Beverly: Well, I sent Linda a beautifully-worded note when Murray ran over her foot.
Murray: I signed my name at the bottom.
Quote from Barry
Barry: [rap-singing] Barry Goldberg, JTP, William Penn Academy, Fighting Quakers, North Philly, Principal Ball, Coach Mellor is good at sports, And he wears those tiny shorts, Cecil the janitor is mopping up the hall
Johnny Atkins: It's true! He mopped up something I spilled this morning!
Barry: Mr. Glascott is a nerd, Feather Locklear is his bird, Miss Tabs habla espanol, Lunch lady is really old, Mr. Woodburn is so mean, Cinoman's the drama queen, Then there's Doc throwin' chalk, That guy is out of control, Burnouts, nerds, and jocks, Jamie Weisman's really hot, Taz Money, Dave Kim, Chad Kremp - What's up with him? Jackie and my brother, Adrock, My sensei is my granddad, Watch me flip this on the floor, I can't take it anymore.
Quote from Pops
Barry: One question. Why is it funny? No one on Earth would name their son Who!
Matt: He's right. Kind of lame.
Barry: Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make this actually funny by changing all the names.
Pops: Don't change the names.
Barry: First base is Mr. ClownFarts. Second base is Bob Frapples. And third base is Giant [bleep]face.
Pops: No! Those aren't real names!
Barry: They're more real than your first baseman, Mr. Who!
Pops: It makes no sense! No parent with the last name of [bleep]face would name their child "Giant"! Ever!
Barry: Then what would they name him?
Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?
Quote from A Chorus Lie
Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys?
I think I've done my job.