Adam Quote #464
Pops: Aaaah! Where are your glasses, kiddo? Your eye's all fakakte.
Adam: Broke in gym class. Now we all got to live with the lazy eye.
Murray: What's that? Are you talking to me?
Adam: No, I was talking to Pops.
Murray: Then why are you looking at me?
Adam: I didn't! This is me looking at you.
Murray: No, now you're looking at Mrs. Butterworth.
Adam: I am not!
Murray: You're staring right at her!
Pops: Now one eye's staring at me. I don't know what to do.
Murray: Bevy, your son's wonky eye is ruining breakfast.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Beverly: Can't you just get past it? He's your family.
Coach Mellor: You sound like Mama, God rest her soul.
Beverly: You mean..?
Coach Mellor: She died doing what she loved, though. Frog squats.
Beverly: Coach, does your brother have any idea what he's done to you?
Coach Mellor: That's what Mama asked me, right before she did that last ill-advised rep that sent her to the final cool-down in the sky. Oh, Mama, why'd you have to crush it so hard?
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: All right, that's it! You're outta here! [whistle blows]
Coach Nick: Did you just blow your whistle at me?
Coach Mellor: Yeah, I did! And according to the laws of coaching, that means you got to take a lap!
Coach Nick: No. You take the lap! [whistle blows]
Coach Mellor: How dare you blow your whistle at me in my gymnatorium?! You have no right!
Coach Nick: But I do. This is the Blare-X 2000, the Champagne of whistles, given only to college coaches. So, my whistle wins.
Coach Mellor: Anybody can get a whistle. What really matters is what's in here, and you and I both know I always give 110%.
Coach Nick: And everyone knows I give 111.
Coach Mellor: That's not possible! Everybody knows that 110% is the maximum!
Quote from Mama Drama
Beverly: I'm gonna ask you a question which you need to answer with complete honesty. Is there a world in which you are not the deserving child for this role?
Adam: There's no such world.
Beverly: Honey, I can get involved. I want to get involved. But I need to know that's what you want.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Usually when my mother wanted to mix in, I'd push her away as far away as possible. This was not one of those times.
Adam: Do it, mama. Make me Jesus.
Quote from I Heart Video Dating
Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.