Geoff Quote #412
Quote from Geoff in Million Dollar Reward
Joanne: Barry's been staying with me, and Mom and Dad, and it's been...
Geoff: Difficult? Tricky? A minefield?
Joanne: Yes! We're trying to help him, but nothing we ever do is good enough.
Geoff: Goldberg children were raised to believe that the entire world revolves around them. And it is our job as their significant other to reinforce that belief every day. [Geoff stands up a chalkboard] Here's a fun way to think about it.
Joanne: Why does this house have so many chalkboards? FISS? Is that a new cola that'll put Barry to sleep?
Geoff: It's the acronym that every Goldberg significant other must live by... Flatter, Inflate their ego, Serve their every need, and Spoil them, just like they're used to.
Joanne: I'm not sure I can or should do all of that.
Geoff: Oh, believe me, if you put your mind to it, you can FISS. You may not take as much joy in FISS-ing as I do, but that's because I was born to FISS. You'll get there.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Million Dollar Reward’ Quotes
Quote from Adam
Adult Adam: [v.o.] I just had to sneak back home before my mom knew what happened. How hard could that be? Turns out, pretty hard.
Officer Puchinski: Excuse me, sir. Sir, you need to come with me.
Adam: Is there a law against taking a morning stroll in the same pants, shirt, and unmentionables you wore the night before?
Officer Puchinski: I'm not here to arrest you. I'm here for the reward.
Adam: Reward?
[Officer Puchinski holds up a poster featuring an image of Adam and Beverly along with the text "Missing Child!! Call Beverly Immediately At (215) 555-0174. My baby angel was stolen from my breast! $1,000,000 reward! Officer Puchinski points Adam to trees and signposts covered with the posters]
Adam: Oh, my God.
Officer Puchinski: You're the "baby angel" who was "stolen from her breast," right?
Adam: You know I am. Let's just ride.
Quote from Barry
Barry: And I'll require silence in this house. It is way too loud and chaotic!
Erica: That's 100% because of you.
Joanne: Bar, maybe we should spend the next two weeks at my parents' house.
Barry: Yeah, their bland personalities and drab home will be way less distracting. And Lou is sort of a doctor, so he'll understand my delicate needs.
Geoff: Our dad's an actual doctor.
Barry: He's an eye doctor. That's the chiropractor of the face. Meeting adjourned.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Adult Adam: [v.o.] I knew my mom was worried that I was out all night, but maybe we could discuss it like reasonable people.
Beverly: Where in the [bleep] were you?
Mr. Glascott: Ooh, coming in hot but deserved.
Adam: Why is my high school guidance counselor here?
Mr. Glascott: When will you acknowledge that I have transitioned from scholastic acquaintance to top-tier family friend?
Beverly: I aged years last night worrying about you, though you would never know it because of my fabulous skin.
Mr. Glascott: It's like a fine Dutch porcelain.
Beverly: Thank you.
Mr. Glascott: Would "just a guidance counselor" say something that personal? I don't think so.