Barry Quote #362

Quote from Barry in Weird Al

Barry: What's that?
Mr. Glascott: Just a lame old sign-up sheet for kids that want to become peer counselors. [Chuckles] It's a boring old club for nerds. You're not a nerd, are you? 'Cause this here, this is nerd city.
Barry: Sign me up.
Mr. Glascott: What? No.
Barry: You're underselling it, which means it's awesome, and I want in.
Mr. Glascott: [Sighs] Look, Mr. Goldberg, I have dreamt of starting a peer-counseling program at this school for years. I need emotionally mature students who are a healing presence in school.
Barry: Well, you just got yourself an officially licensed school therapist.
Mr. Glascott: No! Wow. Do not tell people that.
Barry: It's too late. I signed the sheet, which means I can advise anyone on anything, and they have to listen to me.
Mr. Glascott: That's not what it means.

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 ‘Weird Al’ Quotes

Quote from Pops

Pops: The good news is Adam will be all yours soon enough.
Beverly: What do you mean?
Pops: Look at how they're playing "Super Immigrant Plumbers." Their thumbs are in it, but their hearts aren't.
Beverly: No way. Adam and Dana are as solid as ever.
Pops: Did you see them Pogo Ball? That's a sport for lovers, and they were just going through the motions.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Fellas, I've recently become a fully licensed and bonded medical psychiatrist, so if any of you want to work through your personal issues, this is your safe space.
Andy: I really miss my grandpa.
Barry: You're short, be taller. Boom. Next!
Geoff: There's this girl I like, but she won't give me the time of day.
Barry: Well, that's 'cause you suck at nunchucks, Bro. The fastest way to a girl's heart is some sweet 'chuckin'. Boom. Next!
Naked Rob: I feel like my father doesn't respect me.
Barry: So be less boring. Boom! Next!

 Barry Goldberg Quotes

Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!

Quote from Cowboy Country

Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..