Adam: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Murray: Seriously? Of all sports, you pick the one with the pointy sword. You know how your mom's crazy about eye safety. Crazy!

Pops: This reminds me of a story.
Murray: Please don't tell me a story.
Pops: I'm gonna tell you a story. When Bevvie was a little girl, all she wanted was to be a ballerina. Sadly, she was a very early bloomer. The other girls would keep a wide berth around her so if she lost her balance, they wouldn't be crushed beneath her enormous girl body. Point is, watching her dance is one of the happiest memories of my live. Don't you want to have that with your son?
Murray: Eugh, why do you always have to tell such wonderful and touching crap? Fine. If this is really your dream, I'll buy you the sword.

Adam: Cut the glove off of me! Intermission! I call intermission!

Adam: Do you like romance, pirates, wizards, Mandy Patinkin?
Murray: That's a hard no to all those things.

Dave: Screw wrapping paper. We need some real swords. Can't you ask your mom? She never says no to you.
Adam: Sure, Dave Kim. Let me ask my safety-crazed mother for a deadly weapon. Get your head in the game, dude.

Adam: Please, fencing is my dream.
Murray: I thought your dream was to be cast as an ewok.
Adam: I'm too big now. Things change.

Pops: Come on, Murray. Don't be such a grump, and let the kid do it already.
Murray: You just walked in. You don't even know what we're taking about.
Pops: Well, I know the first thing you always say is no. Is that what happened here, he said no?

Adam: I'm gonna be like Luke Skywalker. Scratch that. I'm gonna be like - name an athlete who's really good at sports.
Murray: Michael Jordan.
Adam: Michael Jordan!

Adam: Ow! Oh. Just poked my eye. Oh. It's okay. I got glasses they protected me.