Barry: Go! Put your foot on the gas and push.

Adam: I'm sorry, dad, I just had to bow out gracefully.
Murray: I wouldn't call that bowing out gracefully. You made the referee carry you to the car.
Pops: She was a strong lady.
Murray: She was a strong lady!

Adam: But the good news is I learned a lot today. Mostly, swords hurt when they jab your body. Which is why I've decided to retire from the game.

Dave Kim: Dude, these swords are bad ass. How'd you get 'em?
Adam: Simple. I used my dad's love of sports and the awkwardness of our relationship to get what I wanted.
Dave Kim: Wow. Behind the mask and glasses lies a devious mind.

Murray: Oh. I see what's going on here. You played me.
Adam: What?
Murray: You played me.
Adam: Don't insult me like that.
Murray: You used my love of sports and the awkwardness of our relationship to get what you wanted.
Adam: Well, I wouldn't use those words exactly.
Dave Kim: You literally did a minute ago.
Adam: Shut up, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: My name is Dave Kim, by the way.

Beverly: I actually have a question. Why am I here?
Principal Ball: You are here because you caused this kerfuffle.

Adam: Look, I know I manipulated you into spending hundreds of your hard-earned dollars on swords to recreate an epic movie scene, and for that I'd like to say, my mistake.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, before Google and Wikipedia, the only way to look stuff up was a set of really boring books that covered a lot but said a little.

Adam: Oh please, Zorro sucks.
Murray: Don't you dare knock Zorro. He is a man of honor.
Adam: Then why's he wearing that stupid mask? What's he hiding?
Murray: All I'm saying is, Zorro had enough skill to sign a Z where ever he went. A Z!
Adam: Even I could sign a Z.
Murray: Oh, I'd like to see that.

Murray: I guess I was just excited about the overlap.
Adam: The what?
Murray: The overlap. You know, you like dumb movies, I like awesome sports. And this fencing thing was finally something we could both enjoy. At least I thought it was.