Pete Fletcher: Hey, hey. Will, Will, Will. Man, congratulations. Five cars in one day. I've never seen anything like it. Oh, yes, I have. Me.
Will: Look, I'm telling you, boss, it is the best feeling in the world. Well, there's a close second. You know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about.
Pete Fletcher: Well, there'll be plenty of time for that. Now, if you feel good now, take a look at your commission check.
Will: I'm sorry, are my pants wet?
Pete Fletcher: How many of your friends can say they made that kind of money in one day?
Will: What you mean, legally?

Pete Fletcher: But it's a shame. Tomorrow, when you're in some chemistry class learning about inert gases, someone will be stealing your commissions.
Will: Now, that's where you're wrong.
Pete Fletcher: That's the spirit.
Will: I don't take chemistry, but I damn sure know math.
Pete Fletcher: So you can figure what a full-time check would be?
Will: Oh, yes, sir. Five times this, carry the six, and add a zero.
Pete Fletcher: And what do you get?
Will: I get out of school. Shake hands with your new full-time man.
Pete Fletcher: Whoomp, there it is.

Philip: Your turn, Ash.
Ashley: Oh, okay, Daddy. "It's clear your teenage daughter is not enjoying the tedious board game being played in a forced family-bonding moment. What do you do?"
Philip: Fine. I try to encourage family time together, and this is the thanks I get. If you don't wanna play, you don't have to. Go on, get out of here!
Vivian: Philip. That's what it says on the card.
Philip: Oh. Well, I'd ask if there was something else she'd rather do and discuss an alternative.
Vivian: Good answer, baby.
Carlton: Oh, I bet you feel like a big dummy.

Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I got to do this, man.
Philip: All right, Will.
Will: Hey, come on, man, it's not the end of the world.
Philip: Yes, it is. If I'd waited a few days, I could have bought that car from you wholesale.

Pete Fletcher: You should fire him.
Will: What? Me?
Pete Fletcher: Yes. Only because I think you're excellent management material. Here, sit down. Put your feet up. Good. See? Looks good on you.
Will: Yeah. Feels nice on my butt too.
Pete Fletcher: Imported cigar?
Will: Eh, if that's all you got.
Pete Fletcher: Yeah. Bite the end off.
Will: I'm not too sure about this firing thing, man.
Pete Fletcher: Will, Harrison's been sliding downhill for years. His sales record is embarrassing. Especially when compared to a mover like you. Go ahead, put him out of his misery. It's the only humane thing to do.
Will: This chair is made out of leather, isn't it?

Will: Say, Harrison, you got a second, man?
Harrison: Sure, I'm just doing some paperwork. You know, some nights I can barely tear myself away from this desk.
Will: Maybe you can take it with you. Look, Harrison-
Harrison: Don't get me wrong. Did you know I have six kids?
Will: No, I didn't know that. Hey. You know, I bet you'd love to spend more time with them, wouldn't you?
Harrison: Sure, especially since Mary died.
Will: I'll be right back.

Will: Yo, man, did you know Harrison has six kids and a dead wife?
Pete Fletcher: Of course I know. He's my brother.
Will: See, now, that's cold, man.
Pete Fletcher: No, Will, that's business. When you're the manager, you make the tough decisions.
Will: I don't know, man. Firing people ain't fun.
Pete Fletcher: It's an acquired taste. You'll learn it. I have faith in you.
Will: I don't know, man.

Will: That's it, you're out of here, come on. Don't be eyeballing me neither. Get on, come on. Get on! And wash those shirts. Especially you. That's three less mechanics to worry about.
Pete Fletcher: Great. Tomorrow, we hit the parts department.
Will: Yes, sir.
Pete Fletcher: I'll buy you a steak.
Will: All right. [to the janitor] Hey, hey, hey. Come on, man, you missed a spot. You're fired! Fired!

Will: Now, look, the bottom line is, he wasn't producing. Now, in this business, you either cut it or you don't. And he didn't. So y'all can take your bellyaching elsewhere because it's falling on deaf ears. Get on out of here before I have to take my belt off. [the kids trip Will as they run away] Yo! Oh, that's funny? Y'all think that's funny?
Pete Fletcher: What were my nieces and nephews doing here?
Will: Yeah, they were coming to plead your brother Harrison's job. I guess none of them good salesmen either, huh?
Pete Fletcher: You're beginning to scare me. Can I adopt you?

Will: Hey, Pete, do you remember November 6, 1987?
Pete Fletcher: How can I forget? That's the day I set the sales record for the entire Southern California area. I sold 11 cars.
Will: Well, 10. One of them had an exploding gas tank.
Pete Fletcher: As far as I'm concerned, once they leave the showroom, it's a sale.
Will: Well, that don't matter, because today I'm gonna sell 15.
Pete Fletcher: Nobody can sell 15 cars.
Will: Will Smith can sell 15 cars.
Pete Fletcher: Oh, yeah? Why don't you try your hand at that angry sister that just came in.
Will: Yo, man, that's my mom.
Pete Fletcher: So what? A sale's a sale.