Vivian: Boy, have you lost your damn mind? There is no way you're gonna quit school as long as I'm here.
Will: Aunt Viv, it's not like I'm working fries in some burger joint. Look, I'm in a suit and a tie and I'm selling fine cars.
Ashley: That's right. College isn't for everyone, and if Will is happy I think we should all be happy for him.
Will: That's right. Hey, thanks a lot, Ash.
Ashley: Listen, I get my license in a few months. You think you could hook me up?
Vivian: Ashley, go to your room.
Ashley: Cherry red.
Will: I got you.
Ashley: You know.
Will: I got you, go ahead.

Vivian: Will, your mother sent you here so you could have a bright future. You quit school, you're throwing it all away. I won't allow that.
Will: See, now, that's not fair. Hilary dropped out of school and turned out great.
Carlton: Hilary's success is contrary to the laws of nature. Totally inexplicable.
Hilary: Oh, stop.

Will: Look, Uncle Phil, you go to college to figure out what you wanna do. I mean, I found what I wanna do, and it ain't taking me no four years.
Philip: Going to college is not about finding a job. It's also about finding yourself.
Vivian: And the search should take more than one weekend.
Will: Why can't you guys respect my decisions and treat me like an adult?
Vivian: Okay, fine. I'm telling your mother.

Jazz: I need to ask you a favor. I need a car with a back seat.
Will: Jazz, I can't just give you a car to take off the lot, man.
Jazz: Who said anything about leaving the lot? This will do just fine.
Will: Get out. Get out!
Jazz: Come on, Ophelia. That's all right, I have a real friend at the bus depot.

Philip: We're all glad you finally came to your senses. I mean, you have plenty of time to figure out what you wanna do with your life. And being a car salesman didn't exactly bring out your most endearing qualities.
Will: Uncle Phil, I was getting paid, man.
Philip: Will, what you do for a living should provide you with a sense of pride and personal fulfillment. It should tap into that part of you that has something valuable to give to the world. It shouldn't be just about money.
Will: You really believe that, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yes, son, I do.
Will: Then how do you explain being a lawyer?
Philip: I'm going to get another piece of sponge.

Will: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Whoa. Uncle Phil, you not seriously considering making me drive this Carltonmobile, are you?
Philip: Son, when I was in college, I drove a manure-brown '65 Dodge Dart.
Will: So why you taking that out on me?
Philip: What a piece of junk. Tow trucks used to follow me around like vultures.
Will: You deserve better, Uncle Phil.

Pete Fletcher: I believe this is yours.
Will: Yo, a grand?
Pete Fletcher: Yeah, well, that's the standard commission for an Evader. Oh, I forgot something.
Will: What? Another zero? [Pete rips up the check] Hey, hey.
Pete Fletcher: Well, I can only pay commission to someone who works for me. Interested?
Will: That sounds great, man. I can't fade that, I'm still in school.
Pete Fletcher: Well, good for you. Forget I mentioned it. What does a college kid need with cash like this anyway?
Will: Hey, hey, hey. What you talking about?
Pete Fletcher: Will, I believe you have the makings of a super salesman, and together we can make piles of money. Of course, my pile would be bigger.

Will: "As you become more comfortable as a salesman you'll develop your own style." Hmm. [in the mirror] Say, baby, with all that butt, you might be needing a hatchback. [laughs] I'm gonna be so rich.

Will: Look, G, I was wondering if my sales-
Geoffrey: Peasant!

Will: Hey, can I kick my sales rap around with you?
Philip: Later. Later. Your Aunt Viv and I are going for a ride in Daddy's new toy.
Vivian: What is that?
Philip: This is cruising music. Al Green and the Isley Brothers.
Vivian: Oh, sookie, sookie, now.
Philip: Baby.