Hilary: Daddy, I have the greatest idea. If I watch the weather in New York I'll have a three-hour jump on the competition.
Philip: Honey, that might not work every time.
Philip: Listen, when you drove to work today you didn't by any chance go down Sunset Boulevard, did you?
Hilary: Oh, I couldn't. It was backed up for miles. And everyone was honking like it was New Year's Eve. "Chance of snow and a minus three wind chill." Well, my work is done. I'm going shopping.
Philip: Sweetheart, I've thought it over, you know, and you're right. I'm gonna put an end this newsletter business. In fact, I'm gonna head down to the law library and get right to work.
Hilary: Thank you, Daddy. Now, dress warm, it's gonna snow.

Philip: Sweetheart, it's commendable that you wanna improve your skills. You don't have to impress those newsletter people.
Hilary: I don't want to impress them. I want to smack them. Daddy, you're a judge. Can't you just throw them in jail or something?
Philip: Sweetheart, the worst thing you can do is blow this thing out of proportion. Now, if you ignore it, it will probably go away. Did you really refer to Hurricane Robert as Bobby?
Hilary: Well, Robert just sounded so serious.
Philip: It was serious, darling. It wiped out half of Miami.
Hilary: Well, excuse me for trying to spread a little sunshine.

Hilary: Well, where did you get this thing?
Ashley: They were passing them out at school.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. What's that?
Hilary: The I Hate Hilary newsletter.
Will: "Dedicated to the premise that weathercaster Hilary Banks is a... boob."
Hilary: Get to the insulting part.
Will: "Hilary Banks doesn't know the difference between a cirrus cloud and a cumulus cloud." What is the difference?
Hilary: Will, look around. Do you see my TelePrompTer here? "Hilary's knowledge of the weather is as skimpy as those ridiculous outfits she wears on the air." I mean, it's one thing to attack my performance, but my wardrobe? I don't think so.

Hilary: My ratings this week have gone through the roof. They're even talking about letting me announce the lottery numbers.
Philip: Well, what about your reputation?
Hilary: So, what if a few people don't like me? I'm a hit.
Philip: Sweetheart, think about this. Is this the kind of fame you want? I mean, people are gonna be tuning in, not to hear your weather report but looking for a laugh.
Hilary: [answers phone] Hello? You're kidding. Well, of course, I'm interested.
Philip: Who was that?
Hilary: They're thinking of making me an anchorperson. I've gotta brush up. Who is this Bosnia person I keep hearing about?

Will: Look around, man. The Peacock is a place where people just come to kick it, man. To relax. You know, get away from the pressures of class. If you start hassling them, they'll go somewhere else.
Carlton: Where? The closest competition is three blocks off campus. Look, don't you see, Will? We've got these people by the textbooks. We can charge and pretty much do whatever we want.
Will: This is like sex to you, isn't it?
Carlton: Yes.

Carlton: Yep, every business major at ULA wanted The Peacock but my prospectus blew away the competition. Who knows? I could be the next Ross Perot.
Will: I don't know. Let's see. Short, obnoxious. All you need is a bad haircut.
Carlton: And your ears.

Philip: Well, I'm proud of you, son. Your first job, and you're running the entire operation.
Carlton: That's right, big guy. There aren't too many first year students with my level of savvy and maturity. Fruity Pebbles!
Geoffrey: And there's a little tugboat inside, Ross.

Philip: Well, Geoffrey, this might be a very good experience for both of them.
Geoffrey: Especially Master William, who will discover the joy of working for a Banks.

Hilary: I am so frustrated.
Ashley: What's the matter?
Hilary: Mom and I wrote down a bunch of meteorological terms for me to memorize, and I keep screwing them up. Why didn't I become an anchorperson? They don't have to know hardly anything.

Hilary: Daddy, I just can't stand the idea of people hating me.
Ashley: Hilary, people love to attack celebrities. It's part of the price you pay for being in the public eye.
Hilary: You're right. I'm gonna call someone who's been through this.
Philip: Who's that, honey?
Hilary: Someone who knows what it's like to be hated. [dials phone] Oh, Shannen? Hi. Hilary Banks. You remember that I Hate Brenda thing that you went through? What do you mean you don't know me? You spilled a drink on me at Roxbury. Hello? Hello? Boy, she's not gonna make many friends with that attitude.