Vivian: Will you two get ready for dinner? This girl is going to be here any minute.
Will & Carlton: [both stand up] Girl?
Vivian: Kayla Samuels. She's a scholarship student, and she has so much potential. She just needs to be pointed in the right direction.
Will: What's she like?
Vivian: Oh, she's a lovely girl.
Carlton: Red flag.
Will: Yo, what's up?
Carlton: Mom's speaking the secret code of mothers everywhere. When she says, "lovely girl" that means "get out the Milk Bones."

Vivian: Carlton, please. I'm just looking out for her. I want you and Will to make her feel welcome.
Will: We will.
Vivian: Besides, she's a darling girl with a nice personality.
Will: Uh-oh. I know that one.
Vivian: What one?
Will: Yeah, nice personality means she's protected by Greenpeace.

Vivian: What I meant was, Kayla's a very interesting girl. She was a National Merit Scholar, captain of her math team and president of her high school's French club.
Will: Well, there you have it. We wouldn't have nothing to talk about. I'm not that good at math and I don't speak no French.
Geoffrey: Miss Kayla Samuels.
Will: VouIez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Philip: So, Kayla, I understand you're from New York?
Kayla: That's right.
Hilary: Oh, I love New York. Fifth Avenue, the Plaza Hotel, Trump Tower. Where abouts are you from?
Kayla: Harlem.
Hilary: Oh. Is it nice?

Vivian: Kayla was valedictorian of her high school.
Carlton: Well, then we have a lot in common. We're both honor students.
Will: But we have more in common. We're both attractive human beings of normal height.

Hilary: Well, HamIet is my favorite.
Vivian: Really, sweetheart? What's your favorite part?
Hilary: Mother, are you kidding? Mel Gibson in tights?

Kayla: HamIet does have some of Shakespeare's most compelling poetry.
Will: You know, speaking of poetry do you know who is a very serious poet? The Intelligent Hoodlum. I just got his tape. It's upstairs. Dude be dropping science.
Kayla: I don't think we're covering him this semester.
Carlton: You're doing great, Will. Now bring it home.

Ashley: You know, I went on a school trip to see a musical based on a Shakespeare play, Kiss Me, Kate.
Kayla: Ashley, that was based on Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.
Will: You know, in our building in West Philly, we had a wild shrew once. Just crawling out from under the kitchen sink. Yo, dude was, like, this big. Stole a Smithfield ham from my Uncle Leroy.
Kayla: Will, I don't want to be rude.
Philip: No, go ahead.
Kayla: I was invited to my English professor's home. I was enjoying an interesting discussion on Shakespeare. I did not come to discuss Rocky, rap, and rodents. If you're doing this for my benefit, I'm sorry, I think it's very juvenile. And I'm not in high school.
Carlton: Worked like a charm, Will.

Kayla: Come on, honey. I got a big Shakespeare exam coming up.
Will: All right. Let me help you out.
Kayla: Okay. All right. Read me a passage from this book and I'll try to identify the play.
Will: All right. You can't cheat.
Kayla: I'll move back.
Will: Here we go. You are never gonna get this one. "Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" [Kayla smiles] Here we go. "The weight of this sad time we must obey Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say."
Kayla: That is Albany, Act V, Scene III, King Lear.
Will: Damn, you're good.
Kayla: Well, not really. These children been studying Shakespeare since the ninth grade. I'm just catching up.
Will: Oh, come on, baby. Stop tripping. Look, you the smartest girl I ever known. Yo uknow, when you start using them million dollar words makes my liver quiver.
Kayla: Thank you, Will. You're the only boy I've ever been with that really appreciates my being sesquipedalian.
Will: Meow, baby.

Geoffrey: [on the phone] That's right, my dear. I'll be round your place at 8:00. Wear something daring. Surprise me. I'm in a dangerous mood. I thought we'd light a fire, put on a Tom Jones album [Ashley and Hilary enter the room]... and after a cognac or two test the waters of adventure. [Philip enters] Did you know, my dear, I'm an excellent photographer? I hope you're not camera-shy.
Philip: What?
Geoffrey: [clears throat] So the draperies will be ready Thursday? Goodbye.