Kayla: Let me tell you something. I got four older sisters, all of them mamas before they was 18. None of them finished high school. Everybody's waiting for Kayla. I'm the last chance for the whole damn family and you have no idea what that feels like.
Vivian: Oh, I know what that feels like. And I know what it feels like to clean hotel rooms during the day and go to school at night just to get the high school diploma I didn't get.
Will: Aunt Viv, you dropped out of high school?
Vivian: It's not something I'm proud of, but I did it. My whole family was counting on me, too. But I couldn't handle the pressure, so I ran off with some guy and quit school. By the time I realized I'd made a mistake, it was too late. I was left with no education and nothing I was qualified to do. It took me years to get back. And honey, if you wonder why I seem to fit so well here it's because I worked damn hard to get here and I know I deserve it. Your problem is is that you don't know you deserve it. Will knows it and I know it, but unless you know it there is nothing more I can say.

Hilary: Daddy, if you're always losing your keys, you should use my system.
Ashley: What's that?
Hilary: Okay, like, I was always losing my car keys so I went down to the key store and had 30 copies made. That way when I lose a key, I always have another one. And next month, I do the same thing.
Ashley: That's your system?
Hilary: Absolutely. And I did the same thing with our house key.
Philip: You mean, there are copies of our house key all over Los Angeles?
Hilary: Don't worry, Daddy. I put our name and address on all of them.

Kayla: Your mama's so fat, they showed her a picture of her feet and she couldn't identify them.
Will: Okay. Well, you know what? Your mama's so dumb she went to the movies. It said, "Under 17 not admitted" so she went and got 16 of her friends.
Kayla: I shouldn't be talking about your mama. I feel sorry for your mama having such an ugly child.
Will: Say what?
Kayla: You're so ugly, she tied a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would play with you.
Will: Well- Well, you so ugly your mama had to feed you with a slingshot.
Kayla: You so ugly, that ain't a fade on your head that's your hair running away from your face.
Will: You know what, you so ugly... No, you know what, this is a good one. You are so ugly that if you... [stammers] Damn, baby. You so fine. [they hug] I would kiss you but I just had a chilidog.