‘It's a Wonderful Lie’
Season 5, Episode 14 - Aired January 23, 1995
After Will lies about his plans even though Lisa said he could go out with his boys, they both end up at the same party. Worse, Will finds Ashley at the same frat party.
Quote from Will
Tina: Hi, Will.
Will: Hey. Wait, you look familiar. Do you have, like, a really fat twin sister?
Tina: Will, it's me, Tina.
Will: Ten Tummy Tina? Girl, you must have lost 20... [she spins around] Eighty pounds. You look nice.
Tina: Thanks. You should get to know the new me. I really firmed up.
Will: I know the feeling.
Quote from Will
Will: Hey, look, Tina, baby, trust me, if this was two months ago, I would be down. Well, but then, two months ago, you were still up. Listen, I have a girlfriend and, you know, just I ain't trying to live like this.
Tina: So?
Will: Tina. Uh, Tina. Oh, look, make-your-own sundae.
Tina: Ooh! [runs off]
Quote from Lisa
Jana: Aw, dang.
Lisa: Okay, listen. We're gonna hang out for a minute, dance, then we're heading back to your place.
Jana: Yeah, right. This is a party, Lisa. You've been tied down to one man too long. You forgot how to work it. Now, come on.
Quote from Lisa
Tina: Guess who.
Lisa: Look, honey, I don't know who you are but if you don't take your hands off my man you're gonna lose all that pretty hair of yours.
Will: Sheesh.
Quote from Philip
Philip: All right, young lady, out with it.
Ashley: Okay. I didn't go ice skating. I went to a party. And, yes, I was with a guy, but we were just kissing.
Philip: You have no business with a college fullback.
Will: He was a linebacker, Uncle Phil.
Ashley: Daddy, it wasn't just anybody. He used to go to Bel-Air Academy and I had a big crush...
Philip: Save it. There are not enough words in the English language to explain your behavior. My God, do you have any idea the kind of danger you put yourself in tonight?
Ashley: Well, all my friends-
Philip: If all your friends jumped off the damn MTV building, would you do it?
Quote from Vivian
Philip: Do you have any idea where your daughter was tonight, Vivian? Hmm? At a fraternity house playing touch football in the bedroom.
Vivian: Ashley.
Ashley: Mom, do you remember Andre Lawrence?
Vivian: The fullback?
Will: Uh, he was...
Philip: Ashley, go to your room.
Ashley: Mom, please let me-
Vivian: You heard what your father said.
Ashley: But, Mom.
Vivian: Go!
Quote from Philip
Philip: You all right?
Vivian: I'm fine. I was just trying to recall what it felt like to be 15.
Philip: It's so long ago, how could you remember? Uh... I'm just so upset that I'm saying things I don't even mean.
Vivian: I'm gonna go have a talk with Ashley.
Quote from Carlton
Hilary: Take the back streets. I don't wanna be seen.
Carlton: Shut up and look for Ashley.
Quote from Will
Lisa: [answers phone] Hello.
Will: Hey. Lisa, what's up? It's me.
Lisa: Will, it is 1 in the morning.
Will: Yeah, yeah. I just called you two minutes ago. Where were you?
Lisa: I was asleep.
Will: Uh-huh. Sure you ain't just getting in?
Lisa: Just as sure as I'm about to hang up on you. How you gonna call me at 1, then ask me where I been?
Will: All right, all right, all right. My fault, my fault. Look, Ashley ran away and I just thought she might be there with you.
Lisa: No, you didn't. Keep me posted.
Will: All right.
Quote from Will
Will: Well, y'all should have seen Uncle Phil. Dude just went straight loco. That big vein in his neck looked like an anaconda.
Carlton: Look, there's a method to my father's madness. If he came down hard on Ashley, it was for her own good.
Will: Man, you think everything your father does is right.
Carlton: Of course, don't you?
Will: Hell, no.