Will: I ain't playing with you, come on.
Ashley: Will, you have no right to drag me home, I am not a child.
Will: Oh, you're just a grown woman now, huh?
Ashley: Listen, Will, I didn't do what you think I did.
Will: Look, I don't even wanna think about what you think I think you did.

Philip: Look now, I could ground you forever. I could put bars on your windows, I could put locks on your doors.
Ashley: Daddy-
Philip: Don't "daddy" me. Do you have any idea what you put this family through? Running around doing God knows what with God knows who.
Ashley: If I would have asked you, you wouldn't have let me go.
Philip: You're darn right. You're 15 years old. You have no business at a party with college boys!
Ashley: All my friends were there.
Philip: Your friends don't live here! I can't do this. You talk to your daughter. I'm done. [exits]
Ashley: You guys hate me.
Vivian: Ashley, if that were true, we wouldn't care when you did something foolish like this.
Philip: [returns] What you have to understand is that we know what's best for you. It may not seem like that now, but one day you'll understand that. End of discussion. [exits]
Ashley: Mom, don't you understand?
Vivian: Yes, I understand. I understand you lied and you ran away.
Philip: [returns through another door] And another thing as long as you live in this house, you will follow our rules. That's it! [goes upstairs]
Ashley: Mom.
[Vivian raises her hand as she waits for Uncle Phil to slam the door]

Vivian: Are you okay?
Ashley: Yeah, I'm all right.
Will: Now, we've got a bit of a volatile situation here. A powder keg if you will. A mishandling of this situation could have repercussions that will reverberate forever.
Philip: Vivian, call your sister and tell her she's about to lose her only child.
Will: I'm gonna call her and tell her myself.

Carlton: When we find Ashley, she's reimbursing me for gas. Where is she?
Hilary: Well, if it was me and I ran away from home I'd probably check into the Four Seasons and get a massage.

Geoffrey: About this portrait, sir... Am I to be involved?
Philip: Well, I don't know, I suppose when it's finished, you'll dust it.

Will: Come on, open the door, my girl's jacket is in there.
[After Will goes into the room, he quickly emerges with his eyes shut]
Bennie: Hey, Will, what's wrong, man?
[A frat boy walks out of the room... followed by Ashley]
Will: [sobbing] Baby, no!

Geoffrey: You know, sir, if you really wanted to teach Miss Ashley a lesson you could always have her taken out of the portrait. Miss Ashley and I are about the same height, it would be a simple matter of painting my head on her body.

Ashley: Daddy, why do we have to do a family portrait anyway?
Philip: Well, we're in transition, sweetheart. And I want a portrait to capture us as we are before we drift further apart. By the way, Hilary, what are you doing here?
Hilary: Well, it's so dark at my house. None of the lights work.
Will: Hilary, you have to have the power turned on. Why don't you call the electric company?
Hilary: Well, I tried, but the phone doesn't work.

Lisa: So, what's going on tonight?
Will: You know, I've been thinking, you really been neglecting your friends.
Lisa: Did you make plans with your friends?
Will: I can cancel them, baby.
Lisa: Will, you don't have to do that. I don't care if you wanna go with friends. Just tell me. Maybe I'll have my girlfriends over. We'll pop popcorn and dance to Janet in our nighties.
Will: How come we don't never do that in our nighties?

Jazz: Hey, Ricky, Lucy let you out?
Will: Me? Last I heard, Jewel was patting you on your head and tossing you a treat.
Jazz: I'm here, ain't I? It's all about letting her know who wears the protective cup in the family. [pager beeps] Oh! You never saw me. [runs off]