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‘Bullets over Bel-Air’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Bullets over Bel-Air

515. Bullets over Bel-Air

Aired February 6, 1995

Will and Carlton are held up by a gunman at an ATM.

Quote from Will

Will: So, what's up, man? Are you gonna be all right?
Carlton: Still can't get over it, Will. If you hadn't pushed me, that bullet would have gotten me.
Will: Well, not necessarily. See, even if you stood right in front of me, he still could have hit me from my belly button up.

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Quote from Will

Will: So, what, you don't think I'm mad, huh? I'm laying up in this hospital an inch away from being paralyzed. You don't think I wanna get up and catch...
Carlton: Well, it's not gonna happen again, not to me.
Will: Carlton, Carlton. I understand that you're scared, man, but the world can be a scary place. You just got to learn how to deal with it.
Carlton: Yeah, well, I found my way.
Will: That's not you, man, that's them.
Carlton: Look, I didn't come here for your approval, all right? I came here to see how you were. I'm out of here.
Will: Carlton.
Carlton: No more hugs, Will.
Will: I saved your life, man. I saved your life. You owe me! Now, give me the gun, Carlton. Give me the gun. I saved your life. I want the gun.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: [holding IV bag] I hate this generic stuff. I'm gonna get you an Evian.

Quote from Carlton

Philip: Carlton, it's after midnight. I don't need something to happen to you too.
Carlton: Well, there's nothing you can do about it. These things just happen, right?
Philip: Carlton, I know you're upset. You've been through a traumatic experience. Now, if you just calm down, we can talk about this rationally.
Carlton: You're always in control, aren't you? Always know what to do, always know what to say. But you know what gets me? The police aren't gonna find this guy. And even if they do, so what? He'll be out on the streets in six months.
Philip: That's not gonna happen.
Carlton: Come on, Dad, it's happened to people you put away.
Philip: But the legal system isn't perfect.
Carlton: Go talk to Will about our legal system. It's such a joke. People aren't even afraid of it.
Philip: Carlton. Look, I'm frustrated too. But as a judge, I have to have faith in it, no matter how much I wanna go out and knock some heads. Eventually the system will come through.
Carlton: I'm all grown up, Dad. Don't tell me any more fairy tales.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Don't worry, on this trip, it's just us and the elements. We're gonna be roughing it like frontiersmen.
Geoffrey: Oh, incidentally, sir the limousine will be here to pick you up at dawn.
Philip: Great, I'm gonna go stuff my fanny pack.
Geoffrey: Looks like somebody beat him to it.

Quote from Hilary

Ashley: It says here in this magazine when decorating a home, price should be no object. The more money you spend the better.
Vivian: What magazine is that?
Ashley: Rich People's Digest.
Hilary: I got a subscription. If I'm gonna be decorating my new house, I need all the help I can get.
Vivian: This is a beautiful color for your drapes, honey.
Hilary: Yeah, if you're a hotel in Vegas. Plus, look at the price.
Vivian: This is very reasonable.
Hilary: Exactly. [scoffs]

Quote from Will

Nurse: Good morning, time for breakfast.
Will: Shh, shh, shh.
Nurse: Oh, sorry. Isn't it hard to follow that show with the sound off?
Will: Oh, no, this is What's Happening!! I know all these jokes by heart. Oh, check it out, look, look, look. [imitates Dwayne] Hey, hey, hey. [imitates Dee] Oh, Dwayne, Rerun ate my mama's cake. [imitates Rerun] Ooh. Dee, Dee, please don't tell your mama I ate her cake. [imitates Dee] Okay, Rerun, for Dee right price.
Nurse: You're good.
Will: [normal voice] Oh, that ain't nothing. You should see my Webster.

Quote from Will

Nicky: Will, you have paper on your cheek.
Ashley: Oh, Nicky, he cut himself shaving.
Nicky: Why do you shave and Ashley doesn't?
Will: [stammers] Well, you know, it's because guys grow beards and some women don't. You know, when you become a teenager, guys start to grow hair on their face and women start to grow, you know, they be...
Ashley: Taller.
Will: Ooh, you are right. Taller. Yes.

Quote from Hilary

Will: You are really asking a lot of questions, Nicky.
Ashley: Nicky's at that age. He's like an empty vessel waiting to be filled with knowledge.
Hilary: Has anyone seen my Vogue magazine? The one with that supermodel Tyra on the cover.
Ashley: Hilary, that's 2 years old. Geoffrey threw it away.
Hilary: Why?
Will: And some vessels just stay empty.

Quote from Will

Philip: Okay, I have chartered our trails. We're gonna hike in just below Limestone Falls then we're gonna raft down the Rocky Point and we're gonna spend our last night at Two Arches.
Will: Huh. Them arches better not be golden.

Quote from Carlton

Lisa: Ooh, look at all this stuff.
Carlton: Yeah, we believe in being prepared.
Lisa: For what?
Carlton: Hm. Bad weather, snakes, global thermal nuclear war, you know...
Will: I tried to tell Puny the bear this is too much stuff. I mean, come on, why are we taking wood?
Carlton: Hello? Campfire?

Quote from Will

Will: Carlton, I'm telling you, man, I'm not carrying all of this stuff. And what do we need this dumb box for?
Carlton: That's not a box, it's a raft. It seats six.
Will: Hm. How many Uncle Phils? Wait, do you expect me to believe there's a raft inside this box?
Carlton: Yes. But whatever you do, don't... pull the cord.
Will: Damn. There was a raft in that box.

Quote from Will

Will: Ain't my fault your stupid hurricane lamp got broken.
Carlton: Well, if you hadn't inflated the raft, it wouldn't have fallen over.
Will: Well, I'll pay you for it but the stupid thing can't be worth more than $60.
Carlton: It had a built-in bug zapper. And it cost 80.
Will: Well, I'll give you 60 for it.
Carlton: Eighty.
Will: Sixty.
Carlton: Eighty.
Will: Eighty.
Carlton: Sixty.
Will: You got a deal, Daffy.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: I wanna make sure he's going to be comfortable.
Nurse: We're doing everything we can for him.
Hilary: Well, those white sheets can get so dingy. Don't you have any nice pastels?
Nurse: That's not our major concern at this point. Excuse me.
Hilary: Well, what about television? He's not gonna just have basic cable, is he?
Nurse: Miss, that is the waiting area. Now, I know this is difficult but why don't you just go over there and wait.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: I don't understand, I'm just a visitor, why do I need medication? And what is Prozac anyway? I mean, do you think I need this? I feel fine.

Quote from Will

Vy: Hi, baby.
Will: Hey. Mom, you ain't have to come all the way out here.
Vy: Stop it, now, I'm just glad that you're okay.
Will: Ahh. Yeah. Just think, I moved out here from Philly because we thought it was too dangerous. [both laugh]

Quote from Will

Philip: How are you, son?
Will: Dude, what's up? Hey, don't be looking at me like that. Y'all know ain't no little bullet gonna stop me. However, I will be doing my banking by mail from now on. Knowing my luck, I'll run into a disgruntled postal worker. [all laughing]
Philip: Are you in pain, son?
Will: Well, it ain't as bad as the last time Geoffrey made chili.
Geoffrey: I guess you won't be wanting this, then. [holds up bag]

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: I can't believe you guys think this is some kind of joke. Don't you realize what happened? Will took a bullet for me. He saved my life.
Will: I did? I was just trying to get the hell out the way.
Carlton: Will, stop it, I don't think it's funny.
Will: Carlton, come on, man. We gotta have a sense of humor about this. This kind of stuff happens all the time.
Carlton: That's the problem. It happens all the time.

Quote from Will

Will: Mom, Mom, Mom. I'm fine, thank you.
Vy: Okay. I'm just trying to make sure my baby's comfortable.
Will: Well, I'm as comfortable as I can be sitting on a bedpan.
Vy: Well, you want me to?
Will: Hey, don't go peeking at my stuff, Mom.

Quote from Will

Lisa: How do you feel, Will?
Will: Well, you know how they say a paper cut is the worst kind of pain? Eh! Eh! Wrong.
Lisa: You don't have to do that.
Will: Do what?
Lisa: Entertain me.
Will: Did you hear the one about the Black dude that got shot at the ATM? And how he was trying to be freaky with his girlfriend in the hospital room?
Lisa: Stop.

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