Hilary: I don't feel good.
Philip: Forget it, Hilary. You're coming.
Hilary: Okay, but I'm not sitting between you and the dessert cart. Last time I almost lost an eye.

Will: Okay, so where are we going? I say Snuffy's Catfish and Biscuits.
Carlton: Why don't we just go eat out of a dumpster?
Philip: Come on, let's decide in the car.
Will: All right. How about Haitian? Let's get some Haitian food.
Carlton: French.
Ashley: I'm ready. And, you know, I'm feeling really silly about that invisible stuff. Where'd everybody go? Hey, no! Hey, wait for me! Oh, no!

Will: And all those big nasty women you be bringing up in here, too. You think Uncle Phil don't know. He knows.
He knows what you do, Geoffrey, okay? Now, I'm asking you to just do my sneaks. I want to go. I want to run some balls going to be some girls there, I gotta look cute. If I have dirty sneaks, other guys going to get the girls. All I'm asking is to have some clean sneaks when I go dunk on some people, all right? So, Geoffrey, straighten your act up.
Geoffrey: Okay, look, get some Calgon, take me away!