Carlton: Carlton's log. Will has been reduced to a pathetic shell of his former self. I, on the other hand, have the strength of 10 men.
Will: Will's log is about to connect with Carlton's head!

Will: That's decent, Uncle Phil. At least you had somebody to teach you stuff, you know? I had to learn everything on my own. I mean, my mom was working all the time and everything. Like, I wanted to roller skate but, you know, I didn't even really know how to do it. So I used to put on one skate and push with the other foot. [laughs] Never seemed like I could be fast enough to keep up with the other kids, though. You know, actually that's how I felt when I came to Bel-Air, you know? It's like everybody had two skates, and I was trying to keep up with one. Thanks for my other skate, Uncle Phil.

Ed Barker: Hey, guys, listen. I'm Ed Barker from station KCBE. Congratulations, guys. You did it.
Will: We did?
Ed Barker: That's right. Now what are your names?
Will: Well, I'm innocent Will. And this is Uncle Phil, attorney at law, and this is little Carlton. He's trying to find his way back to the circus.
Philip: What did we do?
Will: And was it legal? Yo, homey, we was going to give the money back, man, but my uncle-
Ed Barker: Give it back? It's yours to keep. See, you just found the last clue in the KCBE scavenger hunt. You found the prize money. Well, now tell me something, guys. How does it feel to be rich?
Will: Terrible. Uncle Backdraft made us burn it.
Ed Barker: You burned $50,000?
Philip: $50,000? You said it was $25,000.
Will: Oh, I must have miscounted. Oh, well. [Will's pants sag as he walks away]

Hilary: Well, I hope you prepared for rain. I'm predicting a 90% chance of precipitation. And you know how often I'm right. Bye. [exits]
Will: Let's unpack the rain gear.
Carlton: Yeah.

Geoffrey: You know, Miss Hilary I've never seen this side of you before. Baggy clothes, no makeup, tousled hair.
Hilary: You know, I feel really comfortable like this, too, Geoffrey. I mean, I don't need to hide behind cosmetics. I'm beautiful just the way I am.
Trevor: Hilary, you home?
Hilary: Oh, my God. It's Trevor. Quick, get my hot comb.
Geoffrey: Sorry, this is the scene where Barbara finds out Robert's been cheating with a button-nosed bimbo.

Trevor: For you, pretty mama.
Hilary: Trevor, he's adorable. Goodbye.
Trevor: Wait a second. I also brought you these.
Hilary: Trevor, they're beautiful. They look just like the flowers down at the newsroom.
Trevor: Just be sure to have them back before 10:00. My florist is on vacation.

Philip: Will, you check the cave for dry wood.
Will: Man, I ain't walking around in this cave by myself. There's rats and bats and bears and stuff all over the place.
Carlton: Me, neither, Dad. I think the three of us should just cuddle up close together for the night.
Will: I'm going to go check the cave for some wood.

Will: I found this bag, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Will, we can't just burn a bag.
Carlton: We're helpless, it's over, we're dead.
Will: We're rich!
Carlton: What?
Will: Hey, back up, back up!

Jazz: What's for dinner?
Hilary: Jazz, I told you to go home.
Jazz: How fast were you going when you hit this?
Trevor: Now, see here, homey. My lady and I are trying to have an intimate moment.
Jazz: Oh, I get it. You're trying to make me jealous. Well, it worked like a charm. Beat it, buddy.
Trevor: How dare you talk to me like that? Do you have any idea who I am?
Jazz: A really bad cook?
Hilary: Trevor, could you excuse us for a moment, please?
Trevor: [to himself] I have never been so insulted in my life. Blind people recognize me.

Carlton: Dad. When you throw that money into the fire, if I lose my head and leap in after it, you'll pull me out, right?
Philip: Son, there are more important things in life than money.
Carlton: Yeah, but I can't get a date, either.